Bobby Minor: The Cost of Chasing the Dream

Rhett Parker: Hi, and welcome to another episode of Surviving Youth Sports. And today we're talking with Bobby Minor. And for me, this is great because Bobby popped up on my feed. And I, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna follow this guy. And and God, he's saying a lot of things that I believe in and was very passionate about it. And you know, let's reach out to him and and and chat with him. So welcome welcome to the show, Bobby. Bobby Minor: Hey, thank you for having me. I think I popped up on a lot of people's feeds here recently. So yeah, but I'm I'm I'm having a lot of fun. Rhett Parker: It's it it's great and and I think we're very similar. this is not you know what we do for a living. Like we're we're we're here to help people and and doesn't mean we're right, doesn't mean we're wrong. Here's the information, do with it what you will. Bobby Minor: Absolutely. I you know, the thing is, and I tell people all the time I don't I don't know everything about everything. You know, I've been around the game for alm I say thirty five years, it's closer to forty years now, just at the coaching level, not counting, you know, playing in high school or youth ball or anything. And I don't think I know everything about everything, but everything that I talk about is from direct personal experience, either as a player, a coach, an organiz organizational director, Or as a dad who's gone through it. So I'm not nothing I'm talking about is based on theory. I'm not jumping on some bandwagon that I saw, you know, on a TikTok. Like I'm tell I'm trying to help people understand that, you know, you can be smart about this, save a lot of money, enjoy the process a lot more, and your son can still end up playing in college if that's the ultimate dream. Rhett Parker: And and and that you just you just said it because I think that's really what we're about here. We're just giving you experiences. And and by the way, you're in Texas, okay? I'm in Washington State. Those experiences are very different. Like they're not the same. And the the sports aren't the same, and then your football experiences can be different, your baseball experiences can be different, and that's okay. Bobby Minor: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: so so as we're talking about experiences, give us give us some of your background on, you know, you you have you have three kids, you you know, you played you played beyond high school, you've you've coached, you know, give us some of your background and and and sort of the why you're you're doing what you're doing now. Bobby Minor: Okay. Well, I'm doing what I'm doing now because my wife has been telling me for at least three or four years that I need to kind of share from my experience and knowledge. But I played Division I baseball, I would say briefly on scholarship. I got hurt. didn't play for a couple of years, but then after that I played in Mexico multiple times. I've coached high school baseball, I've coached rec ball, I've coached travel ball, you know, every age from from beginning to end. I've coached with former major league players. I've started and ran my own organization. I ran an event in the Dominican Republic for four years with the son of an MOB Hall of Famer. I don't share this a lot, but I actually worked for two years for probably the largest recruiting service in the world, doing thousands of of recruiting assessments with high school athletes. And then I think most importantly, just went through this entire process with my youngest son, who's in his third year playing college baseball, after totally screwing it up with my oldest son, who started playing when he was three with five and six-year-olds, and Rhett Parker: Okay. Bobby Minor: When he was nine, quit b we were week into A All Stars, and he said he didn't want to play baseball anymore. He wanted to play golf. And so that's what he ended up doing. So, you know, I kind of had a do-over with my with my youngest son. And I am just sharing from all of that experience, all the mini hats that I've worn in baseball, not saying that everything that I talk about applies to everyone everywhere, but I want to help parents know what actually matters at each stage. w the right questions to ask at each stage and then hopefully make the best decisions for their son when it matters most. That's why I do what I do. Rhett Parker: Yeah. And and and we we just talked about it. And and and I know that that I'll get some hate for this. Twelve year old baseball does not matter. Bobby Minor: I I tell parents that almost every day. I I had a I literally a dad messaging me yesterday on Instagram. his son is 11 or 12, great player, makes all you know, top performer list at all these big PG events, but never gets any of the invites to the big invitational stuff. And he doesn't understand why. And he was telling me he's not he's not rich, but he's you know, he's really struggling and sacrificing for his son. And I told him, I said, the good thing is your son's a great ball player. Stay focused on him and he's going to be fine. Don't worry about all this stuff that doesn't matter. But those are the people that my heart really breaks for. Not the people that you have buttloads of money, that it's a tax write-off at the end of the year. I want to help them too, but I'm not as worried about them as the people that, you know, the dad that's working two or three jobs, the families that are maxing out credit cards and all of that, chasing something that they're being sold that realistically happens for less than 10% of the players out there. Rhett Parker: Right. Yeah. Bobby Minor: But for the ones that do, it's not dependent at all upon what their PG grade is, their PG ranking, none of that stuff. And it's not just perfect game. I, you know, it's anybody in the industry out there, big organizations do it. They sell them on if you have our our name on the front of your jersey, your son's gonna get seen, but they're not telling them that he's on their fourth team for that grad year and nobody cares. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And and and when I say it doesn't matter, it it's it's because you're good at twelve does not mean that you're going to be good at sixteen or eighteen. Because I I say this all the time. I run, you know, probably the biggest showcase still I have for a number of years called the Pacific Northwest Regional Games. It's invite only. It's for for let's see this year, it's twenty twenty nine, twenty twenty-eight, twenty twenty seven. It's in one location, four fields. There's 70 schools and scouts there. And in Washington, there's only seven division ones: Washington, Oregon, and Idaho. Okay. There's about 25 that come. but but it's dudes. Like it really is dudes. And we have British Columbia, we have Hawaii. I have Buddy that sends his best players from Minnesota. It's great. And it's dudes on dudes, and it's invite only. And there's no rankings. Like like it's that this we we have scout teams in the fall that play the junior colleges, but those are those are really like recruitable athletes for the junior colleges. Yeah, we got some D1 guys here and there, but they're wanna go to Jupiter and and which which is which is great for the draftable guys and and I'm all for that. But I tell guys all the time, you want to be good at twelve, you wanna be good at twenty-two, because my vote is gonna be twenty-two, not twelve. You know, and and Bobby Minor: Yeah. Rhett Parker: So when I say it doesn't matter, I'm not trying to put people down that are encouraging their kids or trying to go play good competition at twelve. I I I'm not. But what I'm saying is it doesn't equate to being a college baseball player or even a high school player. It it it doesn't. And if you're encouraging your kid and your kids all in on it, man, I I'm I'm all for you, brothers. Like whether it's PG or P you like rankings. I think it's a fun thing if you like it. But but don't get it twisted. It it's not the same as you know being a dude when you're eighteen. Bobby Minor: Mm-hmm. One hundred percent. I you know it's funny I I posted a video yesterday where all all I was saying is that if your son's twelve, he's hitting a bunch of bombs right now, make sure that he's prepared mentally and physically for the transition to the big field when he's fourteen. You know, cause it if he loves the game now and it's fun, you want it to still be fun. And so being prep and it's your responsibility as a parent to make sure that he's prepared. That's all that I said. and I had somebody commenting and asked me, Why am I being so hateful? Why am I being so negative? And I said, like, where are you getting that from that? I'm saying you might have a kid right now that's like crushing it. Enjoy it. As a matter of fact, I even said enjoy it, but be prepared and help him prepare so that way that love and passion that he has at twelve, he still has at fourteen when it does change. When the you know, the fences are further back, the bases are further, you're swinging a BB core, not, you know, not a drop five, drop eight, you know, East and Hype Fire or whatever. And so It's just kind of crazy sometimes where people you know, people don't want to hear it sometimes. But I'm I'm trying to help prepare them, not you know, not not tear down their twelve year old. Rhett Parker: Yeah. But peep I we've learned this a little bit because we just started a couple months ago, right? People just want to be negative sometimes, brother. I I I mean they just they want to troll you, you know, they they they want to be negative and and and you know what that I I I just I don't think and there's people out there that are doing stuff to be controversial, just just to just to do it for the clicks. that Bobby Minor: Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: It's not really what we're trying to do. It's not what you're trying to do. you know, but I I do think people get pissed when they get information they don't like to hear because they're they're they're like they're not doing that. And and then when you think about it logically and you look in the mirror like, he's coming after the way I'm doing it. Which is which is just which is just not true. So I want to talk about the debt thing. You know, git give you've done this for a long time, and so have I, and and and I used to joke I've had almost every job in baseball. Bobby Minor: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I was gonna go be a strength coach and an athletic trainer just so I could do that and then maybe try to figure out how to be in a front office. And then I'd have every job a bit, dude. I've been a scout, college coach, you know, college player, professional player. I've been a bat boy, triple A. I've been a clubhouse guy. I've worked at spring training and throwing batting practice. I've been a clubby at spring training. I've I've owned tournament organizations. I run the showcase. I've coached Little League, I've coached 12 of you, I've coached 18 of you, I've coached college summer ball. But there ain't there ain't too many and by the way, I hit in college and pitch professionally. So like the and I wasn't very good pitching, but I couldn't run anymore because I I I got hurt my junior year and just it changed a lot of things, but I could throw hard. I've done it all, man. And and and I I don't say that, you know, for for for some glorified, you know, reason. But I I look at the financial piece of this and I'm like, man, if you could see what I've seen or what you've seen, my advice is is pretty golden. Bobby Minor: I one hundred percent. Like I I did another podcast early this week and then he asked me at the end, he said, like what's one thing what's one what's one one question a parent should ask any organization, you know, before they commit? And I said If it's only one question, ask, what is my total all-in cost for this season? Everything. Because you know, they'll say like, hey, it's only twenty five hundred dollars and you think, well, that's not that bad, but then they're not telling you that there's a mandatory four hundred dollar uniform package and then there's $150 a month you facility usage and then We're going out of town four for four tournaments. So you're gonna have to book hotels through the state of play or whatever. You know what I mean? That's gonna be another probably two grand. And it adds up. And now that 2500 is now seven or eight grand. And your kids play in 10U Triple A, 10U A, you know? And like it's it's crazy. If you just think of it, let's I mean, I I'm gonna say conservatively. If your kid starts playing travel ball when he's eight, so you know, he's gonna play for nine or ten years, even if you're only spending five grand a year on everything, that's still forty grand that you're spending, you know, on the less than ten percent chance that your son's gonna play out of high school. And I I did a video and I was telling parents, Do not do not look at what you're spending. Don't justify it by thinking it's a return on investment, you know, in him playing in college. Now, if you want to, if it's an investment in the experiences and you know, all of that, that's one thing. But don't justify all this money thinking, it's gonna pay off because he's gonna get a scholarship. Because even if he does play in college, even if he does get a scholarship, he's probably lucky if he's getting 25-30 percent, you know. So anyway, it's just it's sad to see. Outside of baseball, you know, they say fifty percent of marriages end in divorce and the number one contributor is money. So think about how many families have been destroyed because of, you know, chasing this baseball dream. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Well, I I I will tell you 'cause I'm in I'm definitely in the soccer world. It's not just baseball. So it's yep. Yep. Bobby Minor: no, yeah. Look it's lacrosse, it's yeah, soccer, it's cheer, it's dance, it's you know, AAU, it's all of Rhett Parker: And it again, if you if you're doing it for the experiences and that's what you choose to do, great. But I again I do think there is this belief that because X, Y, and Z happen, this will happen. And I I I I will tell you unequivocally, more than spending the money and the time, your genetic makeup will determine that more than any of those other things. So I Bobby Minor: One hundred percent. Rhett Parker: If y if I mean I dude when I was in spring training, a guy I was staying with in the hotel, that guy could drink fifteen beers, roll out of bed, and throw ninety-eight. I mean no, he wasn't. He wasn't. But but but he he he ended up not performing well because he he just he couldn't couldn't keep weight off and all those things, but Bobby Minor: He wasn't related to White Boggs, was he? Yeah. Rhett Parker: That guy rolled out of bed, he's better than I was. I outworked him, tried to at any rate. I I I just wasn't very good. you know, if I had his genetic makeup, I I you know, I'm in the big leagues, you know. but I didn't. And that's okay. You know, he's a hundred times better than I was. And I think it's just hard for people to understand that too. that that that really matters a lot. And it doesn't mean that because Bobby Minor: Yeah. Rhett Parker: You're not the best athlete that that things can't work out for you in high school and college and and beyond, but it's a big factor that people don't even think about. Bobby Minor: One hundred percent. And I think also, you know, okay, like you know, like my son, both my sons, but you know, my youngest son, he has a dad that has a baseball background. So like literally every day, every day from the time he was probably seven, we're in the backyard, you know, hitting the hitting the the weight of the balls. I'm hitting him grounders, we're playing catch, we're going to the you know, I'm throwing BP to him. Good BP. That's you know, and like literally like every day, and I still throw BP to him. So you know what I mean? Like that also factors in because it's just unfortunate if a kid, you know, a kid loves baseball, but he doesn't have e either parent with a baseball background or baseball ability, they're gonna be limited. And those are the ones I think that rely on the direction of a lot of people that are really just wanting to, you know, have their hand in their pocket. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I I I obviously like I'm all for people making money in in youth sports. As long as you're providing value, I'm all for it. I I don't I don't you could charge ten thousand dollars and there it could be really valuable. You could charge a hundred dollars, it could be no value. And I'm I'm against it. So I I don't have any problem with people making money. I mean I've done it. but there's a right way to do it and there's a wrong way. Bobby Minor: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: And I'm not saying I'm perfect on that either. I'm sure I'll get hate for for for for that a little bit, but we try, you know, and if you're providing value, awesome. I'm all for it. but but there's some good, there's some bad characters out there too, you know. And that's why I think you know, I want you to to to kind of dive into that. What can parents do? Especially at the younger ages to to cut through that you know, and what what do they need to ask? What do they need to look for as they're picking programs and finances and and sort of all those things? Bobby Minor: Okay. And I'm not trying to sell anything. I actually created a travel ball vetting guide that has 21 questions for that very reason. Because so I because I I see a lot of posts. I'm in a bunch of Facebook groups and things and like, you know, so things that especially I'll say with younger ages. First of all, don't get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses and get rid of FOMO. Don't worry about if I'm not, if my son's not doing what somebody else is doing, then he's gonna fall behind or I'm a bad parent. So let's start with that. But in terms of asking questions to organizations before because Rhett Parker: Okay. Bobby Minor: Like I see a lot of stuff in my response is, man, if you you should have asked this before you ever, you know, before you ever paid a dime, but you know, what's the all-in total cost? another big one is what's your policy on guest players? You know, could because like when I when I coach, I'm only gonna pick up somebody if I'm a I'm if I'm only gonna have nine players, then I'll pick up like somebody, you know, like a tenth player. You know, but like but I know I know teams that Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Bobby Minor: They have a full roster of paid players and they'll bring in guest players so that way the team plays better on Sunday and guys that are that are paying are sitting. So, you know, what's your policy on guest players? Like who, you know, and if you're bringing in guest players, like who's gonna sit? that's a big one. What's your what's your what is your real plan? What does development look like here? You know, what's your plan for end season development? well, how do you handle it when a player's struggling? Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: you know, mid season. Like those are all questions so that way you're not caught off guard when you sit there, you know, you've committed, you've already paid three grand and now you know your son's getting, you know, getting two at bats on Saturday and maybe not even touching the field on Sunday. You know, those are all things that I think parents should ask. That's just, you know, that's kinda like the starting point because I think those are the big ones that really, you know, really catch parents off guard. because in and even like development. Development is such a Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: a big buzzword and it's so subjective. You know what I mean? Like development to me could be different for development to you. But and then I think another big one is like what defines a successful season? Like what are we looking here? You know what I mean? Like is it number of rings? Is it how many you know how like like visible marked improvement in all the players? Like how does this how does this team and how's this organization define, you know, define success? I think those are all important questions to ask. Rhett Parker: And and there's parents and players that want to go win, which is I'm I'm not hating on that. Go. But make sure you're getting those other things that are important in the long run as well as winning. And there's and there's people that need to look at their kid and go, man, he just wants to have fun with his friends, and that's okay too. And you gotta read the room with what your kid wants. And I just think we miss that sometimes. Bobby Minor: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: especially in baseball. And, you know, I noticed something really interesting this weekend. you know, again, we're mainly a triple A team. you know, but we've beat them we've beaten a couple, you know, majors teams. We've lost us some double A teams and we we play little league. and we're multi-sport and that and that's okay. And and we're gonna have some really good players and some people that won't play, you know, in high school on the same team. but Man, a lot of the youth stuff is really just controlling the running game to not allow people to score. I I I watched it this weekend because we played a team that was really good where they they're balking every play or they took they can't hold anybody. And I'm like, man, they're good though. Like they had I mean, they're good defensively and and they had a really good arm and their catcher was was was good, but They're losing because they they're like, well, we play little league and we're jumping back and forth and you know, we haven't worked on it. And I'm like, hey man, you're doing a lot of the right things because those four players right there, they're gonna be good. They're gonna be really good. Because those other things that you just said, they all take care of themselves. They do. You know, they it's not like you get to 15, you're like, man, I don't know how to hold anybody or people are just gonna steal second and third on me. That doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. Period. Bobby Minor: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: Like you you work on those and the bunting, god jeez, my the tenue one game of seven six guys in a row bunted. I'm like, what? And we only got one out, and great, they won the game because of it, but hey man, I I never went to a game and and have you ever gone to a game where you're looking at a guy and be like, Hey Bobby, a guy could really bunt. We need him, we need to sign him tomorrow. Bobby Minor: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Get the hell out of here. No one's ever said that. Nobody. Bobby Minor: No, it you made me think about the bunning thing. We I think when we were a nine U double A team. We were playing in a a World Series here in Dallas Fort Worth and we're playing a triple A team. I I don't even know like how that ended up happening, but I wanna say we lost that game like fifteen to six. They literally did not hit a ball out of the infield the entire game. They bunted almost every time. And we were we were nine you double A team. Like I'm telling you, when I'm when we're working with those kids, the last thing I'm thinking about, you know, is like, let's work on butt defense, you know, butt defense. Like, you know, you know, and it's just it was like so frustrating because we're trying to, you know, trying to coach them in the moment and it just didn't work. And I was like, man, that's but it's crazy to me. Rhett Parker: It's the fa it's the fa Bobby Minor: That that, you know, winning was so important to them that that's that was their strategy. Like I'm gonna have, you know, literally an entire lineup bunt every single time. Rhett Parker: Yep. I I I it doesn't help the development piece of things. Now, what I'll say, man, they had a left-handed hitter, like leadoff guy, this one team who's really fast, who was actually drag bunting. I like that. Like that makes complete sense. I mean, and God, he was really good at it too. Really good angle. Like he's probably probably better than most of the high school kids. but it doesn't help the development. They won the game. Congratulations. that that that's awesome. Bobby Minor: Yes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: But I I God, I almost think we outhit ya. I I think we did, and and it was 18 to 8. you know, but I I I I'm with you. I I think there's an emphasis put on the wrong thing sometimes. And and again, no one's saying don't win. No one's saying don't go win games. I wanna win. You wanna win. We all why the hell would you wanna lose? But It it has to make sense what level you're at, what age you're at, all all those things. And I think you know, I I w like I said, I used to own, you know, a couple of tournament companies, and man, some of the best teams I ever saw at 12. I man, I I I I wanna say one or two guys played in college. That was it. Bobby Minor: I can tell you right now, when when my son Julian was twelve, the two best players that probably out of all of Fort Worth, you know, I mean they mean they're at the top, but the two from this one particular league, neither one of them played after high school. It's just I mean, it's and they were back then they were both bigger, faster, stronger, you know, one of the kids could check swing, you know, he's a righty ridey batter, he could check swing a ball, you know. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bobby Minor: out to right field over the fence just because that's how big he was and how good he was. And you know, I think like absolutely I was talking down here in Texas, Texas Banditos, one of the biggest organizations around 30 plus years. I was went and talked to Ray DeLeon face to face and you know he was saying yeah said that winning, you know, to him winning was the most important thing because the more games you play, the more development happens. And like I agree that you develop, I mean at practice, you develop at home, you develop Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I know, right. Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: you know, in all those areas, but you the more games you play to me, the more opportunities to put it to the test. Because like I was telling somebody, you could man, you can take 200 swings in the cages every day and develop a beautiful swing. But until you're actually in, you know, in a game situation facing a pitcher that's trying to get you out, you don't even know what you have. And that's where it's kind of put to the test and that's what reveals, you know, where you are and what you need to work on. And that's why I think one of the reasons we have kids that have beautiful swings but can't hit. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: Because they don't, you know, they don't learn how to hit. But I always want to win too. But to me, it was never win at all costs. And it was never winning at at the expense of development. And like when I coach younger teams, pool play, I don't care if we go two-0 or oh-and two. Pool play, I do not care about because it doesn't matter. I don't care if we have to play an 8 a.m. gun game on Sunday, but everybody on my team will play Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: Infield, they'll everybody will play outfield, at least in inning. And I know people say, well, I have kids that, you know, they can't if they're in the infield, I'm afraid they're gonna get hurt. Well, that's your job as a coach then to coach them up and you know teach them how to play. But everybody's gonna play infield, everybody's gonna play outfield. Everybody's gonna pitch if possible because I'm gonna pitch everybody one inning. Even my non-pitchers will pitch. Nobody's gonna pitch more than an inning. I flip the batting order and I do all of that. Sunday we're playing to win. I'm gonna put my best batting order, my best lineup. I might have you know a rotation between a couple of guys in one of my corner outfield spots, but I am playing to win, and that's where you know that's where we're gonna do it. And I mean I we had a tournament one time where we went and two in pool play. We went five and on Sunday, and we won a pretty big Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: tournament down here. Playing five games on in one day is kind of crazy, but that's a whole nother conversation. But I'm like I'm fully committed to that and I communicate that to my parents up front that this is the way I'm gonna do it. I don't you know, I'm not gonna listen to any garbage on Saturday about why is he pitching so and so or why my son batting here. So Rhett Parker: That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Aren't aren't we supposed to be creating fans of the sport too? Like i i if if that's great if if you win a lot of games or your kid has a lot of success, but man, when they're when they're twenty five and most likely done and they hate baseball, was it worth it? Bobby Minor: Yeah. Mm-hmm. or they hate their parents. Yeah. I mean that happens a lot too, I mean Yeah. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. Right. And and man, Texas is a diff people that like that don't know, it is a different animal from about ninety percent of the country, man. It's different. Bobby Minor: It it definitely it is. It is. yeah, it's wild. I actually before this podcast, I recorded a video on the post today, but I'm talking about the mental health of athletes too, especially like you know, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen year old players that play like at a high level, the pressure that's put on them. and a lot of people are just clueless. They don't realize, but you know, a fourteen year old boy Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. Bobby Minor: is still a boy. I don't care if he's 6'1 and can freaking rake, you know what I mean? Mentally, he's still emotionally, he's still a boy. And like, you know, we put this pressure on them that you have to perform every, you know, every at-bat, every game, all tournament long. And if you don't, well I got somebody that I'm gonna replace you with. And that is a lot when you look at I I reference Shohei Otani, greatest probably player on the planet, I mean what's he he's gonna fail seven times out of ten when he comes up to the plate. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: You know, but we Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: we expect these fourteen and fifteen year olds to handle the pressure of performing ever you know, every at bat, and if not Rhett Parker: Well w it's we just did a episode that just released recently and it it's it it is three different people. Coach at Weatherford College, who's a really good friend of mine, Carlos Ramirez, okay, who runs JR JR ninety eight, okay. It's it's a parent of a kid that I coached and it's one of my former players. Bobby Minor: yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: Who all have foundations to deal with suicide and mental health awareness. And it's a super powerful episode on social media and pressure and being open to talk about things. And it it is so important, man, because I will tell you the people, the the kids that we're talking about, you never would have known anything's wrong. Like it and and it they felt pressure in some way in their life. Bobby Minor: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: And it's not worth it. It's not worth it to put the pressure on. So be open to the mental health, man. I love, I love hearing that, man, because we just we have to talk about it and we have to recognize that it's a game and it it is meant to be fun. And dude, you'll know when it's serious. Guy guys, trust me, it it it's hard to explain to people that aren't in it. You'll know when it's serious. Like you absolutely will know when it's time to get serious. And if you're good enough. to be in the serious games. Like it's not it's not a mystery. well that that transitions into the next thing I'm talking we're talking about is sort of the social media. the the I I I know you've called some people out. we we don't necessarily even have to do that here because it doesn't it doesn't matter to a certain degree, but there's really good Bobby Minor: yeah. Rhett Parker: Baseball organizations out there, there's really bad ones. There's ones in between. There's great tournament companies out there. There's great tournament directors out there. There's great, there's great social media out there that matters. There's bad social media out there that matters. There's terrible tournament directors out there. There, there's there's so much, you know, information that's being thrown at us parents now. I mean, you you didn't really have to go through it, buddy. You got lucky. I I I will tell you because so let's see, your son's third year of college, so what he's twenty one? Bobby Minor: Twenty one. Yeah, he's a red shirt sophomore this past year, so he's yeah, twenty one. Rhett Parker: okay. Well, hey man, okay. So my my oldest kids are 12, so that's nine. Dude, nine years ago, what is that? 2007. It it doesn't look anything like it does today. Not even close. So what do you want to dive into? Because I just threw a bunch of curveballs, sliders, change ups at you. Like, how do we want hand like how do we want to go at go at this? Because I think it's so important to talk. Bobby Minor: Okay. So listen, so okay, I want to clarify something. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bobby Minor: like i'm not i'm not calling anybody out per se it's not that that wasn't my intention i'm not you know i'm not anti i'm not anti any organization or or or you know any of that i'm or you know i'm not but i do you know i have a background aside from baseball i mean 30 plus years in sales and marketing i worked with multiple fortune 500 companies i understand how marketing campaigns work at a high level and i'm telling you all marketing is designed for one thing to get people to spend more money And so I'm trying to educate parents on how this whole thing works because it's a lot a lot of smoke and mirrors because you look at the fact, like I said, more than 90% of the parents out there, their son is not going to play an ending of college baseball anywhere, you know. And so, but this is all designed to make you to get you into their funnel, you know, look up marketing funnels. I've been in one of my videos, I talked about a vertical integration model. What that means is they wanna have they wanna make money off of every little thing that you do. Rhett Parker: I I saw it. Bobby Minor: That's just the reality. Like I'm not making stuff up. You know what I mean? Like, and like I want people to understand how it works again, because of those people out there that are sacrificing everything, thinking that if I'm not doing this for my son, you know, then I'm a bad parent. And he's gonna he's not he's gonna miss out on his dream of playing at Vanderbilt, you know, which is probably not gonna happen anyway. But one like I you know, I talk a lot about social media and I did a video on this. I said, nobody posts an ugly selfie. So what do I mean by that? You know what I mean? Like my wife, we're taking a picture. We might the picture that you see me post on our date night is probably the tenth picture that we took because my eyes were closed, her ponytail was on the wrong side, she wants her glasses on, glasses off. All you're seeing on social media are everybody else's highlight reels. So you cannot judge your son or where y'all are on his journey based on anything that you see on social media. Nobody's posting. I put I see I did because I'm different. My son's senior year in high school, he did something that he has never done before. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bobby Minor: And this is somebody that got 100% to a D1 Juco out of high school. I he's great, played the Connie Macworld series, you know, MLB Dream Series. But he had a high school game in district where he went 0 for 5 with five strikeouts. most people aren't gonna post that. I posted it, and the reason why it was a district rival, they ended up coming back and beating them in extra innings and they and they won this this late district game. My son was literally the first person out of the dugout when the when they scored this walk-off run, and looking at him. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bobby Minor: You would not be you couldn't tell that he just went 0 for 5 with 5 Ks or if he went five for five with five bombs. Like, you know what I mean? And that was I wanted to I wanted to highlight how proud I was of him, having the worst game ever in his entire baseball career. You couldn't even tell. You know what I mean? He would sit in the dugout feeling sorry for himself. But nobody posts stuff like that. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Love it. But but that guy's and and I think I'll take it one step further. Forget baseball. That dude's gonna be successful. Because he's wired the right way and he's being taught the right things. And what matters is the process over the results and the process of getting they they won, man. Like like that is that's awesome, man. it's those little things that that you're proud of. Bobby Minor: Mm-hmm. That's what I'm hoping. Rhett Parker: You know, we had a little league game last night and my son was kind of being a jerk. you know, and a kid who's who's struggling on the mound, you know, he's playing short, he calls time, and he's like going over mechanics with him. And I was like, you know, I think he he had a double and a couple of walks or something. I was like, he's Man, did you see my hit? I was like, Yeah, it was great hit. Don't care about that. This is so awesome what you did what you did for your teammate. Like Bobby Minor: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Man, it it Bobby Minor: Great teammate. Rhett Parker: it made me so proud in the stands and they're friends of ours, even though the ki he's a little bit younger of a kid, and their parents were like, that was so awesome. Like I I I I loved it because it it it that's not result, man. That that's like, dude, that you saw somebody in need that you're that you're better than, that you can go help. And it and it it it it was really cool, man. It made me it made me really happy. you know, and then he was a jerk in the car again and you know, yeah. So Bobby Minor: Yeah. No doubt. Rhett Parker: they're twelve, right? I mean just ups and downs, but Bobby Minor: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Okay. Again, I I I've said it. I'm all for people making money. As long as you're providing value, I'm all for people making money. We had we had a buddy of mine who's a tournament director, runs big tournaments on on a national scale, you know, really on this side of the country. We just talked about stay to play. And he does stay to play, but it but he he does it because and and and and I'll say this because you have to take context with everything. He adds he adds ten dollars a night to the rooms. His tournament fee is less. Okay. Than than his competitors because it has to be to get people in the door. He has to fly in so many umpires to these places because there's not enough there, and he has to lodge them. And so to me, I'm going, okay, I lose ten dollars a night. Okay, you made 40 bucks on me. Fine. I'm you're not charging me 40 extra a night and an exorbitant fee and gate fees and put like, you know what? I'm good with like I'm good with the 10 bucks, man. Like, I'm fine. Because I understand the context of why that stayed a play. Because I've been in the industry or have been. I I feel like it's it's sort of like what you're doing, like to me that's okay to do because the tournament fee's not a ton, there's no gate fee. Bobby Minor: Yeah, okay. I look here's the thing, I get it. Okay, I get it. And I'm not again, my wife is we're both I mean business owners. My wife has a cake business and everything, but okay, here's the here's the thing. This is just my take on it. I would say then dislike okay, if you go to somebody's website and they're promoting evil shield elbow guards, and like hey, if you click on this link, you can buy an evil shield elbow guard, and I do make an affiliate commission. Rhett Parker: You might disagree. You might dis Go ahead. Yeah. That's awesome. Bobby Minor: Then my thing is at least disclose, say, look, these are these are hotels that I've negotiated a rate with or whatever. And in full transparency, $10 of every, you know, every room comes back to the organization to help us do A, B, C, and D. If you disclose that, I don't think, I don't think most people, you what I mean? Most people are not gonna they're gonna say, my God, how you know, how dare he? You know what I mean? But like tell them what you're doing. You know, I keep keep the tournament entry fees low for you, but I do make, you know, but Rhett Parker: Yeah, I actually agree with that. I like that. Yeah, yeah. Bobby Minor: That's my thing. You know, I mean, that's just my opinion. I'm just saying, like, disclose it. And I think most people will be, especially if he's putting on good events. but yeah, but the other ones, you know, other organizations that do it, that make a lot more money off of it, and you're talking hundreds and hundreds of rooms, which I never did. I always stayed at an Airbnb, me personally. I didn't I didn't care what anybody else was doing. And only one time did ever have anybody say anything. But to me, when you try to present it like, hey, you know, state of play is a good thing for you as the parents. Rhett Parker: No, for sure. I it actually makes sense. Yes. Bobby Minor: And they're not saying that it's just another way because a lot of organizations aren't ch charging discounted entry fees, they're charging as much as they can, and you're paying a fifty dollars for a gate gate, you know, gate pass for the week, and you're doing that's what I'm talking about, the vertical integration model. I'm not a fan of that, so I feel like it just takes it takes advantage of parents, and then what are they gonna do? You know what I mean? Like, no, my son's not gonna play in these events. So Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, for sure. And and and I'll say something on the regional level and the local level for for for for tournaments, because I think this is where people get confused. There's a lot, there's there's individual-based companies, okay, and that's more or less what we have in the Northwest. Okay. There's also places where there's perfect game. There's also places where there's UAASA. There's also places where there's Prep Baseball Report, Northwest Nations, There's an independent guy in California. There's all sorts of different tournament companies. And and Five Tool. Yep. Yep. Five Tools, another one. What is it? N NCSA or N N N N C S. NCS is in Arizona. NCS. Guys, there's a ton. There's like this guy in Diamond Tournaments in New Jersey. They're everywhere. Okay. The the brand is a stamp. Bobby Minor: There should be some five tool five to a west coast. Yeah, I mean if he has yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: Unless it's a national tournament or a big regional tournament, the brand is a stamp. There is an individual tournament director or directors behind that stamp. Some are great. There are some perfect game people, prep baseball people that are amazing tournament directors. There are some that are terrible. Terrible. The brand doesn't matter. It is the person behind it. Bobby Minor: Yeah, for sure. Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: And where you're located in the country. It it like there is this thing. We have to do this. No, but but the best tournaments and I know and I know the guy, the best tournaments in in Northern California were were ran by a a guy that I I think he was U Trip and then he was and then he's perfect game. It's the same tournaments. Like it's it's it's it's you know, th there's a guy that just switched to you're right, five tool. It it Bobby Minor: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: The tournaments are the same. The the branding's different and they did it for whatever reason they wanted to do it for. You know, it doesn't it doesn't change, you know. some places in the country have more tools to get metrics and and those things than than other places. Because in in Washington for high school, dude, there's one complex for high school that has more that has more than two fields. There's one. Because the land is so expensive here, and then the cost to construct things in Washington State is in Oregon too. You can't afford to do it. It's not going to make any sense. So there's one. Dude, they're not taking all the metrics and the diamond kinetics and all the other things that they do to these other places that don't even have internet. You have to use high school. If you have a 50 50 team high school tournament in Washington, you're using 20 fields. Bobby Minor: That's wild. Yeah. yeah, for sure. Rhett Parker: Like you're all over, and by the way, you're Seattle all the way down to, you know, Olympia. That those are not close to each other from a traffic standpoint. So I I think you it's the same thing we were talking about with the parents, brother. We're trying to get the information. Get the information on the events as well as the clubs. I I just went on a I just went on a Bobby Minor rant there a little bit. what where are you at with all that? Bobby Minor: Yeah. I love it. To me, bottom line. No, I agree. Bottom line, I think I think every penny a parent spends, they should know where it goes. If you're with an organization, you should know where every single every cent that you're spending, what it's going to. Full transparency. You know, same thing like with with like with the tournament, whatever. Like I just think you should just know. I mean, you're spending the money, that's your right. And and to me The only time that that should be an issue is if there's something to hide. You know, if you're trying to build in and you know, it's you know, like my wife's cake business. She has a price per serving slot, you know, cost per serving. If you know what I mean, and it depending on do you want filling in your cake or whatever, but it is it's easy to understand, so you know that. Hey, it's six dollars per serving, and I'm I need a hundred servings, so my cake is six hundred dollars. There's no hidden fees or anything like that. We're not, you know, even we're not trying to build in different costs, like it's just it is what it is. And I just think, you know, full more transparency and you're gonna have less parents, you know, let like help them understand. Okay, if we're already paying $1,500 for this tournament, why do why do we need to pay $15 a day as a gay fee? Like help them understand why. And then people can make I know if you can hear the train coming by. you know, then people can make informed decisions. Then it's up to me. Okay, I know where, I know where my money's going, I know why, then I can make a decision. If I spend my money on it, then I don't want to hear you crying about it in a Facebook group. You know, you don't have to post anonymously and say, this tournament, they did all of this, you know. That's that's kind of where I'm at with all of that. Rhett Parker: I can't. Yeah, and and and I'll I'll I'll I'll help, at least, you know, from my perspective. I I haven't looked at the things that you've done. And I think people just need to take a step back. It no one's you're not trying to go after anybody, man. Like it all you're doing is putting information out there and your, you know, experiences, which are important and we're all about experiences here, just surviving youth sports. That's what we're trying to do. And, you know, you can make your own decision. Bobby Minor: And exactly, yeah. Rhett Parker: You know, and and God man, they're like if your kids having fun and being a good citizen and getting and developing as a ball player, then you're making right decisions. You don't need to just keep looking to the next thing. well, listen, man, as we wrap this up, you know, give me, you know, pay you could be to athletes, parents, coaches, all the above. We you know, we like to get your what's the best advice that you can give to people that that are listening in here? Bobby Minor: Okay. And I was gonna say, hey, we're just trying to we're surviving youth sports while chasing baseball dreams. That's all we're doing. yeah. So I would say two things. I would say t this will help you enjoy it more. Realize everybody's path is different. Okay. So that's you know, that's you just should just get that right there. Everybody's path is different. Rhett Parker: I love it. I love it. That's awesome. Bobby Minor: and then I told his dad this last night. This is something with me and my son Julian that we we a decision we made, I think when he was going into the ninth grade, when he wasn't having some of the activity and invitations that other people that he knew, we made a decision that we were going to be as happy for other people as we wanted them to be happy for us. You know what I mean? So if I posted something like Julian, he you know, he he did the MLB Dream series. Well, if I posted that, I wanted people to be happy for us, not hating on us, like why did Julian get that? But it that also meant that when we saw other people get invitations whether I thought Julian deserved it or not, we were going to be happy for them and celebrate them as well. And dude, that took such a big weight off of us. I stopped worrying about all that stuff. You know, Julian Julian gets his opportunities. He played in the Connie Macworld series and things like that. So his opportunities came, but if it's somebody else, I'm dude, I'm happy. That's awesome for you. That's also awesome for your son. And it's amazing how when I stopped getting caught up in you know hating on people and things like that. It just made it a lot more it made it a lot more fun. Rhett Parker: Man, that's go that is gold. That's gold. That is a golden piece of advice. There you go. And and and it I I get it it gets hard to do that, but I I think that is God, that might I mean that's a great, you know, I I've say this all the time on the podcast. I I learn a lot because I'm trying to figure it out too. I don't have the answers. but man, we I really appreciate you coming on and and yeah, I I I I love Bobby Minor: That's from all the this wisdom, the grey beard wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate the inline. Rhett Parker: you know what you're doing and the videos and and it gets me to take a step back just like we encourage all the parents to do here and and players and coaches, just why are we doing this? And and what are we doing it for? And are we having fun and and and you know get information and make good decisions that are that are the best for for your kids and and and athletes, man. So appreciate you coming on, brother. Bobby Minor: Yeah. Hey, thanks for the invite, Rhett. yeah, anytime, anytime. Rhett Parker: Love it.