James Lane: The Truth About Youth Sports Parents

Rhett Parker: Hi, and welcome to another episode of surviving you sports. your host, Rhett Parker. And today, special guest, first episode where I don't know this individual at all. him 10 minutes ago, different sport, basketball. His name is James Lane. Welcome to the show, James. James Lane: Thank you, Rhett. I appreciate you having me on. Rhett Parker: Absolutely. And we're through the technical difficulties that no one else will ever see as we try to do these podcasts and we're all learning. But I would love to hear your background and I know it's extensive in the world of basketball and you know, just how you became who you are. James Lane: No. Yeah, absolutely. ⁓ So I grew up in Colorado Springs. ⁓ I attended ⁓ Palmer High School, which had a really strong tradition in basketball. That program was led by Dan McKiernan, who's Hall of Fame coach. And ⁓ actually, just a couple weeks ago, got the court named after him. So grew up in that program, played for really ⁓ strong coach. ⁓ My brother played. ⁓ I attended Denver University after ⁓ high school, so I was able to earn a Division I scholarship, which is, you know, a lifelong goal and ⁓ obviously a challenge as well. Anybody who's a part of the basketball scene knows getting to that level is pretty challenging. So I went to Denver University for a year and actually made a move and finished at the University of Nebraska Carnegie where ⁓ We had a really successful run there for three years. I ⁓ the other day I was thinking about how many games I think we won like over 70 games in the three years that I was there and we yeah, so we we had some success won the Armac championship twice won the one year was the tournament one was the actual league title and ⁓ so after college I ⁓ right away went into teaching and coaching. I was able to get back with my high school coach and coach under him for one year at Doherty High School in Carrhouse Springs. ⁓ shortly after got an opportunity to coach at the University of Colorado, Carrhouse Springs, which is a D2 program. ⁓ NBA player Derek White is from there. That's a shout out to him. So, so. Rhett Parker: Okay. James Lane: Coach there for a few years and then had an opportunity to coach high school go back to Doherty High School and was a head coach there for a few years. ⁓ Before moving out here to Washington where my wife is from, so got the family out here and. ⁓ Been coaching at Monroe High School since and you know, won a district title last year and we're on our hoping to, you know, get another shot at that and through the through those years of coaching, I've had some opportunities to. Rhett Parker: Yeah. James Lane: You know, I've worked with USA basketball for a little bit. know, Colorado Springs is where the Olympic Training Center is. So a few years of seeing some really high level players come through there and also got to be a part of a youth development league called SoCo basketball for Southern Colorado basketball. And I was a I guess they think the title was commissioner. So I was helping out with like 70, 70 teams that were in that league. And so really got a at a young age, like mid 20s, ⁓ kind of see a perspective of parents and kids and the development of basketball from a different angle there. So yeah, there was some really unique stories I could tell you about and really opened my mind to, you know, and start to question what are we doing? So, yeah. Rhett Parker: Right? And I think, you know, and shout out to your ex high school coach for bringing former players on. I've been in both sides of that. It's a challenge and I feel like it's not always easy to have a former player coach with you or you coach with your former coach. So that's awesome. But ⁓ you know what? Let's dive right into that. 70 teams in any sport is going to bring a lot of joy and a lot of heartache and a lot of really hard conversations. Talk to me about that because I do think every sports a little bit different and the expectations and when you're supposed to be good and, all those things are a little bit different in sports. So talk to me about basketball because that is a ⁓ very unique perspective. And obviously you've coached at all levels. James Lane: Mm-hmm. Yeah, so it was it was a really interesting situation because I decided to maybe to step away from coaching and a previous head coach in our city. He contacted me and he said, congratulations, you're to be less stressed. And I would love for you to come on and help with my league that he had been developing and said, hey, you're to learn a lot about people. I remember that was his his comment to me. And I laughed and I was like, man, I feel like I'm learning a lot about that from the coaching side. But he said, you know, you're going to you're going to see a lot of different things. You're going to be probably going to open your mind to ⁓ everything that goes on behind the scenes with youth sports. And so basically my role was, ⁓ you know, we had like four or five gyms every weekend in Colorado Springs. And I would drive around to make sure that these gyms were running on time. You know, the refs, the parents. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. James Lane: everybody that were they were acting accordingly. And we we had to develop this thing called, you know, our hot teams. So teams where there was more issues coming up and, you know, they tend to tend to be the same teams. And so we would have like our hot gyms. So I'd have to make sure I was there to make sure that, you know, everybody was safe, to be honest, like that things were going OK. And basketball is, you know, Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. James Lane: I think unique because at like the development level at like from like fourth to seventh grade ish, you can really play a style of basketball that makes you feel good about yourself. A lot of tons of trapping and pressing where kids aren't strong enough to throw the pet and make passes or see the floor. And so you play this really chaotic style that really doesn't, in my opinion, help. Rhett Parker: Right, right. James Lane: kids grow and develop in their game. And so some of those teams would have a lot of success and play like a really up tempo style. And it would lead to all kinds of stuff, you know, whether it's, you know, a lot of hard fouling or just being overly aggressive. And so, yeah, that was always a really challenging thing to watch is ⁓ should we be playing this style? Like, what are we developing? ⁓ Rhett Parker: Yeah. James Lane: and cut. Rhett Parker: And it's championed by the parents though, right? When you say a hot gym, I've turned them a director for a number of years. Oh, there, there was some teams I'm like, all right, I know what side I'm going to today because it's the parents that are championing that, that a lot of the times think it's a bigger deal than it is, right? James Lane: 100%. ⁓ man, like the amount of times I wanted to say, hey, you guys winning this SoCo League championship in sixth grade does not matter at all. Like nobody's going to remember sixth grade, fall league SoCo basketball. And like, and we're over here, you know, stomping in the bleachers, yelling at refs, ⁓ you know, telling their kids to be overly aggressive at times. ⁓ It was just. Rhett Parker: Right. Mm-hmm. ⁓ James Lane: It just it just what like and I love like to compete right like we want our kids to learn how to compete hard but there are so many times where I just like this is backwards so. Rhett Parker: Yeah, for sure. And you have two daughters, fifth grader and a seventh grader and you're coaching their teams. And then you have like, feel like we have all these experiences, right? A league a tournament that they like, they're the same thing. You're, you're just, you're in the service industry with you sports, right? And you're dealing with all sorts of good, you're dealing with all sorts of bad. But then you go on as a parent and you're like, ⁓ my gosh. this is even worse than I thought because now I have a perspective of like, there's my kid and I want them to have an even better experience because they're my kid. How do you adjust to that? And basketball man, sometimes those gyms get hot. At least baseball, you're kind of spread out. You're outside. You're not normally on the umpires, you know, right? Man, I feel like there's been gyms I played in where golly at the temperature that literally the temperature has just increased. So James Lane: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: How do you do with that as a parent with all your past experiences? James Lane: It has been tough because it was so easy for me before I had my kids involved in it to be like, this is silly. Like what are we doing? But now that I'm involved in it and I'm a coach and a little more emotions are invested and I got my daughters out there that are, you I want the best for them. You get caught up in some of this nonsense of like being overly competitive or. I'm not making this fun or joyful for my kid. Now, like, I'm being overly critical of my own kid or whatever we have going on that ⁓ that's I think that's where when I hear the title of your podcast, surviving these sports, I'm like, man, this is so true. Like, where do I back up? Where do I make sure that they're, you know, growing and developing and being challenged? But at what point do I just need to just Rhett Parker: Right. James Lane: when I hear the title of your podcast, surviving these sports, I'm like, man, this is ⁓ so true. at what point do I just need to just let them enjoy and have fun let them enjoy and have fun and, you know, coming into some of these games, like making sure that I like hold my tongue and don't say something negative to a ref or to another kid or, you know, just it's, it's challenging. So. Rhett Parker: It is, especially when you play a little bit higher level and you're like, man, I know you're wrong. But man, I got to try to put myself in this perspective because, know, James Lane, the Monroe High School basketball coach, right? And the seventh grade basketball coach and the fifth grade basketball coach, the reality is, and I say this for a lot of parent coaches out there and a lot of coaches in general, you absolutely should act and feel differently coaching Monroe high school basketball than you should coaching fifth grade basketball. You should I mean, the the the want to win the ⁓ pressure to win a little bit, you know, you go on 25 at Monroe. ⁓ you probably not coaching there anymore, I think is is is a fair assessment. But you go on 25 and every girl comes back and plays next year. And they had fun. James Lane: Correct. Right. Rhett Parker: You did your job. How do you, how do you, so how do you differentiate? mean, it's so hard to like put on different hats. And sometimes it's one practice to the next same day. James Lane: ⁓ 100%. Yes. Yes, it's like the I think it's, you know, having those conversations, like making sure that you hold yourself to it and you are ⁓ reminding yourself of like the purpose of each level. Having those conversations with with parents at each level as well, because, you know, I'm seeing that a little bit in our with our fifth grade team. It's like, man, I just want them. Rhett Parker: How do you do it? James Lane: to learn how to compete a little bit, understand the rules, get the fundamentals, but have so much fun with each other and have this joy. And I'm seeing some parents out here right now that are bouncing around teams in fifth, sixth, seventh grade that are frustrated with something and they're not willing to commit to the process of development. And they just wanna jump ship to find a new opportunity. I'm like, most important thing for these kids is that they... And I'm seeing ⁓ some parents out here right now that are ⁓ bouncing around teams in fifth, sixth, seventh grade that are frustrated with something And they just jump ship to find a new opportunity. leave this court and they are having fun that they like that they maybe go play tag or whatever they have going on. They're enjoying being around each other and us parents are like ruining that for them. So, so yeah, just knowing that yeah, there's there's totally different levels to this. get to the high school level varsity level. You know, we we talked about it in Monroe about playing to a standard not necessarily playing wins and losses, but that That's a direct reflection. Like we play to our standard, we are going to win. So, but yeah, it is about that. It's about playing at your highest level and, and, and there's totally a different level of intensity to it. And there should be ⁓ of holding each other accountable. Rhett Parker: Yeah, in 100 % and basketball in particular, always, you know, where I grew up is basketball city, and obviously played and, you know, if you're five eight versus six eight and you may there's people that play at high levels of being five eight. Generally speaking, not many. There's a lot of people at six eight playing at those levels. And I and I feel like basketball is a sport almost more than any other sport where you're like, do your genetics and we talk about on this show all the time matter. more in this sport than baseball, for sure. Like, if you're six, eight, you're gonna have chance to do something in basketball. If you're five, eight, you're gonna have, I mean, the gap is massive. So when you talk about a fifth, sixth, seventh grader hopping teams, in my mind, I'm like, what? And how tall are your parents? That's the first thing that popped in my mind of like, if you're learning how to compete, and developing and having fun. You're your son or daughters in the right under there on the right team. Period. James Lane: I couldn't agree with you more. the amount of conversations, my wife actually played college as well. We met at Denver University. And so the amount of times that we've had conversations, like, look for our own kids to make it to college and basketball is going to be really, really challenging. It's getting better and better. You know, we are not like superb out athletes. We love it. But what is important is that like we're learning how to be disciplined. We were learning how to Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. James Lane: do something, work at it and see growth. ⁓ But we're on this team where you would look around at all the parents and lovely people, but like, hey, the chances of our kid getting some sort of financial, ⁓ getting something out of it financially is very, very slim in basketball. And so we're totally lose. I mean, actually, we are losing a lot of money because we're paying for trainers and we're doing all these things that. just not realistic. Like we have to be realistic with with what we are trying to accomplish here. And I feel like it's you were losing that grip ⁓ more and more each year or maybe it's just because now I I'm in it. I'm really in it. So it may have been like this for a long time. So Rhett Parker: You're in it. Yeah. I got a really good quick baseball basketball story. ⁓ I'm working in spring training and there was a Manny Machado was really young with the Orioles and he's a big time ⁓ possible Hall of Fame guy for the Padres now. And he's telling me how good he is in basketball. And I remember this article or this story and one of the other coaches did too about Alex Rodriguez. So Alex Rodriguez grew up Miami ⁓ and James Lane: Yeah. Rhett Parker: He was really good at basketball. And he's like, man, you know, he went to his baseball coach and goes, I'm going to be a basketball player. his baseball coach goes, okay, we're to go turn an NBA game on. And I want you to tell me how many people look like you. He turned the game on. He's like, wow, there's none. There's no Hispanic players in the NBA or there's one or whatever. All right, I'm gonna go focus on baseball. and I'm, you know, like, I'm really good at six three or six four in Miami, but like that doesn't equate. And I had that story always stuck with me of like, man, I'm, you know, I'm six four, six, four and a half. I was a shooting guard on a high school team that won a state title, a really 3000 person school. I mean, I would have sniffed playing post. James Lane: Yeah, The percentages. Yep. Mm-hmm. Right, right. Rhett Parker: Those guys all went to Eastern Washington and Boise State and Utah Valley and they were six, nine, six, eight, six, 10. I mean, I would have gotten destroyed down there. know, God, how do we, and I struggle with this myself, James, how do we tell people that it's, if your kid wants it, great. But how do we tell them like, man, be realistic without crushing dreams or hurting feelings? I'm trying to figure that out. So I'm like. James Lane: Yep. Yeah. Rhett Parker: And maybe we all are, right? James Lane: Right, I've actually, this has been something I've thought about quite a bit, because early on in my coaching career, I'd have kids come to me and say some things that I knew were unrealistic. And I was like, I don't want to crush their dreams, or I don't want them to feel bad about themselves. But 17 years in now, hey, hopefully I'm the motivation to why you want to do it even more. I'm like, look, man, probably not going to happen. So if you want to go play at Kansas and you're six foot one and we're slapping the phone, like, sorry, man, let's make sure that we are locked in and using your time wisely. And, you know, I'll tell kids now that like, hey, I want you to know or reflect on our relationship someday, whether you liked it or you didn't that I'm telling you the truth. And what I think is the truth. And I've just experienced enough that typically it's going to in this area going to be more often than not, right? And I want you to know that I was real with you. And so I'm finding myself ⁓ it's easier to have those conversations now, like sixth, seventh grade, I'm not ready for them. But as they get into high school, it's like, yeah, like this, it ain't happening. But if you wanted to, you want to push real hard, maybe D two basketball or your goals play overseas, like, yeah, you can, you could, you could maybe do that. And ⁓ Rhett Parker: Yeah, for sure. James Lane: And I've seen the other side, like kids that have, you know, I talk about this kid all the time, but F and Chisholm who went to our high school and he's on the Patriots roster. He, uh, he's actually came back last night to our practice and I was able to talk to him for a long time, but you know, he was a gifted athlete and basketball wise, I wouldn't say gifted in basketball as far as like his speed and, jumping ability and his size, but like, it also kind of shows you like somebody who works there, but off can make it. So, um, but. basketball probably wasn't an option for that type of body. And so ⁓ it's just such a unique sport in that way. Rhett Parker: And you got Caleb Campbell, who's a kid I've coached, you know, and I used to give him, give him guff all the time. And then he sent me a video of a put back dunk. I was like, all right, yeah, you keep playing basketball. Like you're pitching and he's going to go pitch at Gonzaga. ⁓ His upside ambassador, you can play in college. He's athletic enough, like, but he really does have a chance in baseball to play beyond college. He does some things really exceptionally well with the ball and on the James Lane: Yep. ⁓ 100%. Yep. ⁓ Rhett Parker: stuff and but I love the fact that you know, even though I give him guff right. I love the fact that he's playing it makes me so happy because it's not going to affect his baseball career at all. It's only going to add to it. And if you go talk to the Gonzaga baseball staff, they love it. ⁓ an athlete is perfect. That's what we want. And does he need to put weight on? Yes. Does basketball help with that? No. James Lane: Yeah. Yep. Rhett Parker: Is there enough time for him, but is there enough time for him to put weight on and be totally fine and cause 100 % 100 % James Lane: You're right, correct. Yep. come on, like he's got 10 years before he's at that really high level for baseball. it's like, continue to compete. And he's like the one of the few out there that I've had that are the baseball basketball guys where I'm like, dude, I'm not sure if you pick the right sport. Like you are, he that kid can fly and he's a competitor and he gets things done. But again, like, like you said, it's one of those things like, man, you're going to look back and be so happy that you played basketball. You you've got time. You're you're not going to tap out. Rhett Parker: Yes! Yeah. Yep. James Lane: early, you're going to continue to get stronger. And, and it's, it's a, it's a journey. This thing's a journey. So, and I know he had some times where he was a little unsure, like, should I, you know, try to put some weight on and be really focused in baseball? And it's been a hard thing for him, but I think he did make the right decision. I'm thankful for you, Rhett, for telling him to do that. Cause yeah. Rhett Parker: It is. Yeah, 100 % it listen and to be transparent because we we just released an episode today with Steve Nines Xavier Nines who was a first round draft pick did not play his senior year. I was drafted back when the draft was two days out of high school. I didn't play my senior year. James Lane: and Rhett Parker: If you're that guy and grant, I'm like a 20th round pick, but. It is OK not to play basketball if you're putting everything into baseball and you are a draftable player out of high school. It's OK not to play senior year as long as you're to have no regrets. Guy like Caleb is not a draftable guy yet. He should go play basketball 1000 % him. If he got nicked up, he gonna be fine. He not losing a scholarship. He's not dropping draft whatever. James Lane: Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Rhett Parker: You know, and I'm not comparing myself to Xavier Nines at all here, ⁓ cause the difference is massive, right? But you know, you said something a little bit ago that was really interesting and, and, and we were talking about the dreams and, telling people the truth and being honest. And I feel blessed and it sounds like you're in the same boat for the things that I do in baseball, you know, is, is not, you know, how. how I make a ton of money anymore. It used to be when I ran events and did different things in baseball, it was I so I don't have any obligation to not tell people the truth or to push a dream that isn't there. But I feel like a lot of people are not in that position and push those dreams because that's how they make a living. James Lane: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: Give me the basketball perspective. I see your face just light up like, and we're not trying to call people out specifically, but just the industry in general. James Lane: yeah. ⁓ ⁓ man, this is a whole nother can of worms here. I've done a little bit of the training stuff on the side, had like my little like small training thing going for a while. And then that has become huge in basketball. ⁓ But had some moments where it was like, wow, this kid is parents and kid, this kid doesn't really have a chance. He's here, he's working really hard. But this is probably not where they should be putting their money. And then I've had these conversations with other trainers and other sports too. Baseball actually and football and like, man, I feel bad. Like sometimes like, this, should I tell the parents like, this isn't probably worth the money for you. But it's like, it's not really our place. And I don't wanna take any money out of other people's pockets, but like the amount of people that are going and these trainers that are, Rhett Parker: Soccer. James Lane: making some really good money, money off of people and it's become such a business. And I just, you know, like this week, I mean, I could go into so many stories about this, like there it's sometimes, ⁓ man, we, so fourth and fifth grade select program, we have ⁓ a trainer coming in next week ⁓ who eight of our fourth and fifth graders are coming in for an hour training. ⁓ Rhett Parker: Give us a good one. You can give us a good one. James Lane: for 40 bucks a kid in the fourth and fifth grade. Fourth and fifth grade. And so like, I hear this and I laugh, my wife, for fourth and fifth grade. I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. These kids in fourth and fifth grade, I just got home from training my daughter for a little while, getting some shots up. Them being able to dribble with your head up, being able to get the ball into your shooting pocket and shoot with decent technique from five feet away. Rhett Parker: Sorry, I'm doing the math in my head. I'm doing the math, sorry. James Lane: Being able to, you know, do a correct layup on both sides, these very like simple things that they just need some reps in. They don't need a trainer doing anything extra and, you know, to make that type of money and not be able to like, you know, when in this area, like it's got to be very focused that you are holding the ball in the correct position, that you're doing these things that are very detail oriented to do it correctly. You can't do that with eight kids. And so you got this big group, and now we're probably ⁓ practicing bad habits and we're paying for it. So I'm like, it's just is it's like mind blowing to me that ⁓ that is happening. It's happening all over the place. And so yeah. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. 320. That's 320. I mean, given my math eight times 40 is what we're in the wrong. I mean, that sounds like that sounds like my, you know, attorney fees. I like wow, and listen, there are great trainers out there for all sports. And there's people that that can be honest with people and people schedules that are full. And I was a trainer too. And it's and it's hard. You know, James Lane: for one hour, fourth and fifth grade. Totally. Correct. 100%. Yep. Rhett Parker: when the parents push it, you know, and you just try to do the best for everybody that you can. But but man, the best thing you can do for probably basketball to baseball is go play catch with them, go shoot with them, even if you don't know what you're doing. It's going to be okay, guys. And in middle school and high school, if they show an aptitude for being good and having desire to get better and you have the means to go find a good trainer that by the way, I'm a firm believer James Lane: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: should also be a mentor when you're a trainer. If you're not also trying to be a mentor and caring, shame on you. Shame on you. You should, the amount you're getting paid per hour now for all these things you're doing, you need to be able to do both. And I had to stop training. You know, I, we lived in Seattle and when I played independent ball and got invited to spring training and was a college coach, I had to, I had to do lessons. James Lane: Correct. Yep. Rhett Parker: because it was how I survived. And my wife was in medical school. ⁓ But man, it got to the point where I just started to despise it because it was just, you just repeat, repeat, repeat. And then I took a step back and I started just asking people for crazy amounts of money because it wasn't worth my time when I was starting. And then I finally was like, I go, guy, I'm not worth what I just tried to charge you. But James Lane: Mm-hmm. Totally, yep. Rhett Parker: I'm driving to Green Lake. That's 50 minutes. Then it's an hour back plus the hour training for me in my mind. That's three hours. You know, it's X amount. You shouldn't be paying me that I'm not worth it. So that's when I kind of stopped but ⁓ basketball, it man that is I'm sorry, I'm just I'm trying to soak that in because I have one that has a basketball aptitude. And I couldn't couldn't imagine, ⁓ you know, you know, paying that but I think, you know, give me your take on this, especially in the basketball world. The investment in a trainer should should like I just said, go beyond that physical training aspect of it. And if you have somebody really good, and you're paying them 100 bucks an hour or 150 bucks an hour, and your kids learning from them, and your kids being encouraged by them, to me, That's almost better than having somebody that's better at the skill. James Lane: ⁓ I agree. I think it's one of those things where it's like, if you're going to try and I also want to just make sure I'm clear, like there are so many really just quality trainers, like, could rally off five right now that I'd love to send my kid to and like, hopefully someday we'll train with them if if they continue to show that they want to do this and they like it and they're ready to take that next step. But yeah, they they need to know the kid. through and through what their weaknesses are. Not just dribbling with a bunch of cones and getting shots up, but like, where are you looking to help your team? What parts of the floor should we be spending our time? Not just blindly going in and practicing things that you've seen on Instagram. If I have a kid that that is playing at this level, who wants to play college basketball, like, hey, we need to lock in on This is where your weaknesses are. This is where the game is going to be played for you in college. And then also like, I'm sure we would agree that like the mental side of sports is more important than the physical. And so it's like being able to coach that like confidence and the attention to detail and all those things for kids and tell them the truth. whether good or bad or hey, yeah, you should have sat your butt on the bench that coach, your coach was right. I'm not here to tell you you're doing the right thing, but like being honest and having good trainers that do that. And I think there are a lot of them that are really invested. It's their passion, it's their life. ⁓ But that ain't eight kids, fourth and fifth grade, that's not happening. anyways. Rhett Parker: But and and and I think we're talking about the professionalization of youth sports and the business of youth sports and you know, hopefully there's there's trainers that you know can look themselves in the mirror and I know there's a lot of good ones at baseball too that know they're doing the right thing and you know, parents just just just because somebody talks the talk doesn't mean they walk the walk and I think you we all need to be cognizant of that for our kids in sports so. ⁓ James Lane: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: ⁓ but anybody that's listening to this, you know, and I really want you to, you know, focus on basketball or, know, I, I, I've actually learned a little bit. Just listen to you talk. Cause I only have really one in basketball third grade right now. And it's a lot different where I live in basketball, but you know, give, give somebody like me who played, what's your takeaway? What, James Lane: Yeah. Rhett Parker: What give me the best thing that I can look out for as a parent ⁓ to make my journey easier and give me confidence as a parent to be successful with my children. James Lane: Yeah, I think just remembering the process of basketball and what it's doing for your kid as an athlete. not focusing on just one sport, I've always felt like, you know, gotta play multiple sports, but just letting things be. Like if your kid really loves basketball and takes your enjoyment of the game and continues to build on it, you know, maybe it's... diving in and finding trainers later on and whatnot. it's taking, allowing it to unfold. ⁓ Knowing that there's so many good things that are coming from basketball because it is an intense sport. It's working with teammates, it's fast, it's quick decisions that there's so much that your kid is getting out of basketball that they can maybe take in another sport that's gonna make them better in another sport. and just being and being patient with it. And if I was going to say specifically to this younger age of basketball is just don't get wrapped up in the style of play until they're about ninth grade. It's like this. There's so much poor strategy happening because it's easy to win that way ⁓ and kind of hopefully taking it with a mentality of laughing it off a little bit that, you know, Three kids guarding one in the back court and getting steal after steal is not going to translate and excited parents and whatnot that we could that we can kind of just let that be let it ride. But we can also talk to our kids that hey, let's know that you're that you're going to be able to pass the ball in the future down the floor. You're going to be able to dribble better that they just be patient. Don't get overwhelmed with the chaos of third through seventh grade basketball. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Well, right over there in my office is a Tacoma Metro Parks Championship plaque with a picture. My dad was the coach. My dad's from Indiana, so basketball is huge there. We won the championship. I don't remember the game. There's a signed ball with all my friends from fourth grade right up there in my office. And I walk by that picture, the assistant coach. James Lane: So Love it. Yep. Rhett Parker: His son played at Oregon State and University of Portland. He was a seven footer. He's one of my, one of my best friends. His dad passed. That's what I take, you know, and I, I tear it up cause his dad, I was close with his dad, but like, that's for me. It was great that we won that. Awesome. Don't remember it. I'm glad the picture's there cause they put the picture in the plaque. So I'm kind of glad we won it, but like, man, I haven't thought about some of those guys and it's, it's in my office, but I'm not looking at it every day. James Lane: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Man, I don't remember what style we played. You know, I remember me and my friend Kevin who played at Division one, played overseas, any seven foot by the way, just as the genetics talk. That's what I remember. And I look at the ball and now a couple memories flooding back and you know, you just brought that to me and you kind of saw the look and the joy on my face. A fourth grade. You know, I haven't thought about that in, you know, a year. And I just looked up there as you start talking third to seventh and that and you know, and James Lane: Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: dad being the coach and you know, so man, I gotta tell you, appreciate that because it's just like my heart, you know, there's a lot of joy, ⁓ you know, from from looking at that picture right now. And I'm sure you have similar memories and ⁓ different things. you know, parents, listen to what you know, coach is saying here. James Lane: Yeah. ⁓ Totally. Yeah. Rhett Parker: anywhere from running a youth league to USA basketball to college coach to high school coach to fifth grade girls seventh grade girls to trainers you've been around and everything's gonna be okay you know and and I think what you're saying is take a step back enjoy it and if your kid has the aptitude you'll figure it out and there's enough resources where you're gonna figure that out so ⁓ yeah well thank yes James Lane: Yes. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, yeah, slapping five hugs, you know, that stuff like just look for these opportunities to celebrate with each other and and have fun. And yeah, it's going to take care of itself. Yeah. Rhett Parker: 100%. 100%. Well, man, I appreciate it. I kind of great that we never met. I feel great about meeting you and I think this is this is awesome and I appreciate you coming on brother. James Lane: Yeah, thanks for it. Likewise.