Morgan Schill: Expectations Can Steal the Joy of Youth Sports

Rhett Parker: Hi, and welcome to another episode of Surviving You Sports. And today we are talking with Morgan Schill from the Positive Play Project. And Morgan, I have to say this before we go. I think I was is it scrolling Instagram and I and I saw you and I was like, this person's perfect. This is a while ago. It's all almost before we started. And I was like, talking to the producer, like, let's get her on. This is gonna be great. So I'm I'm beyond excited, you know, to to chat with you. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Same. Happy to be here. Rhett Parker: So we're in similar boats. I mean, I have kids a little bit older than you, 12, 12, 9, 7, but but you're nine, seven, and five. So you're in it, and it's only gonna get more. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: So what obviously we both draw from experiences with our kids, but talk about. Being being the sports mom and and and what you're doing with the positive play project and how those things are kind of intertwined. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. yeah, I s I've mentioned sports are a huge part of my life growing up and my kids have just kind of like started in this. You know, my oldest is only third grade. so we're very just toes in to the insanity that is you sports. But already it's been like an interesting challenge and we've had some really phenomenal experiences and some not great experiences and so as I've kind of gotten back into my kids are I don't wanna say older, but like old enough now that I have a little bit more ability. I've started coaching, coached basketball, I coach volleyball, and kinda I'm taking on a board position with the league. Like getting more ingrained back in this world. Rhett Parker: That's awesome. Morgan | Positive Play Project: just recognize that it's not qu quite the same as I remember it from when I played. And so Rhett Parker: Well, I I I do like and I think, you know, as as we get into it as parents, like I I love hearing 'cause I obviously coach my kids as well, like, sometimes it's almost like if if you don't like it, like then go get involved. Especially if you have a background, Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Rhett Parker: right? so third grade, what sports does he play? Morgan | Positive Play Project: My kids are they're playing baseball, basketball. We just started lacrosse this year, which Rhett Parker: Okay. Morgan | Positive Play Project: is a new sport for me. I from the West Coast. That was not a thing where I grew Rhett Parker: Right. Morgan | Positive Play Project: up. they played soccer when they were little, but they're, you know, more into to those main sports now. Yeah. Rhett Parker: Awesome. And and okay, so you're in North Carolina and we both grew up in Washington State. Very different. I mean, Morgan | Positive Play Project: Very definitely. Rhett Parker: even back then now, whatever, what do you see in terms of the experiences? And you can obviously draw from your own, but North Carolina versus Washington, how are those experiences different? Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah, I think even within like one state, you can have vastly different experiences based on where you are. I mean being being in the south, like this is this south if you want to consider it. I think there's just like a different level of expectations, like how things are communicated. It's just been like a different it's kind of like a different world. Like when I grew up in in Washington that I you know, it's the weather's different, the people are different, like how you go about things is different and there's no I don't think it's right or wrong one way or the other. It's just definitely a just a different kind of a different atmosphere. And different sports I think have different like volleyball in the West Coast I think is vastly different than volleyball on the East Coast. Maybe not as much so now because I think volleyball has grown dramatically. But you know, like the level that you're playing at, I think just the tenure of volleyball in that in that space is different. Whereas like lacrosse in here or in New York is gonna be like a different just a different level of knowledge and expectations than like you would find in Washington. yeah. Rhett Parker: It's it it's interesting 'cause the expectation piece, right? I I do think that is like it's huge based on where you live and the sport that you play. You know, I Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yes. Rhett Parker: I it being from Tacoma in Washington State, it is a basketball city. It's not a baseball city. Like it's it's just it's just not from from what you play and then I would say football is definitely a head too and lacrosse isn't I mean if you said lacrosse people and what? Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. When my kids came to me and said like we want to play lacrosse, I was like, I don't I don't know totally, like let's find it out, but like I don't even know where to start. I Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. What Morgan | Positive Play Project: didn't know the rules. I didn't you know, it was it was almost like Yeah, it was, truly. Rhett Parker: Isn't that fun though, as a parent? You're like, I like soccer. I was like, this is happening. this Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: And you're like, you don't really know what's going on, and you could just sit back and be like, This is great. Cause I'm sure when you watch volleyball, sometimes you're like, you know, come on, we gotta s there's gotta be a better set there. Like, we Morgan | Positive Play Project: No too much. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: we gotta move, you know. baseball, I'm like, God, we didn't back up that Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: play, you know. it truly is though. Like Morgan | Positive Play Project: Ignorance is bliss, truly. Like just a different level of yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: and and it does allow you, I would say to to be more in a weird way positive because you're like, we made a mistake there. all right. Hey, good hustle. Right, right. A hundred percent. But but Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where you were supposed to be or what you should have done. It just looked good to me. So yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: on the flip side, there is some negatives to that. Because I've had feedback from from former players and I've watched parents too. It's like, you know, I don't try to to to talk to my kids a ton about soccer. I didn't play. I have no I I didn't coach. You know, I I don't I don't know what's going on. Why I'm not gonna sit there as a parent be like, man, you sh you need to cross that ball. Dude, I I have no idea. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Like, what where what are you seeing with parents with with that? Because that to me 'cause kids are not dumb. They're like, dude, you didn't even play. You ain't Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Rhett Parker: gotta talk to me about soccer or lacrosse like you didn't play. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. I think one of my kids told me I was washed up the other day, like as a joke, joking around. I was like, You're not wrong. It's been a long time, buddy. Rhett Parker: That's funny. That's funny. Morgan | Positive Play Project: you know, I think it's I think this goes back to part of like why I really started the Positive Play project in general because I don't need to know a lot about the sport. I don't need to know like if you were great on first base or whatever. To me at this age, particularly that for our kids, like that's not what's most important to me about getting what I hope that they get out of their sports experience. I hope that I'm teaching them like how to be a great sport and how to show up to be a good teammate and how to handle like a tough loss and disappointing things that don't go your way. To me that's so much more important than like the technical skills of the game. like I'll sign up to coach the basketball or volleyball team 'cause I maybe know enough to hopefully, you know, like leave them better than I'm when I found them on that. Rhett Parker: Right. Right. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Like I'm not coaching up signing up to coach the cross 'cause I don't know enough about it and that's fine. I'll leave the technical things to the coach. but it's bigger than like you sports should give you so much more than just learning, you know, how to hit a ball or where to shoot it. And that's what I hope. I think especially as parents, we can really lean into like how the role that we play with our athletes in the development piece of sports, whatever sport they play, wherever state they're in, that they're growing as humans and people and teammates and taking those skills far beyond the court or the field. and I think sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the Did I make the team? Did he Rhett Parker: Yeah. Morgan | Positive Play Project: hit the winning pitch? Like, you know. Rhett Parker: But When we spend the money that we spend, Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: do you think that comes with unrealistic expectations of what in in in our mind as parents our kids should be? Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. I saw a post, it was a little while ago that was like, if my kids out there wearing a car payment's worth of gear, like we're showing up to win. You like my expectations level have changed. And I feel I get it. Like you're it's an investment. It's investment of all your resources, money, time, like, all of these things, right? and I would just like really challenge parents to think about Is that then the right choice for you and your family? Like if if making buying them the hundred dollar cleats or you know, whatever you feel like you need to keep up with for the kids changes your expectations of the game for them, I would really like challenge you to think about like, is that the right move for you and your family? Because at the end of the day, what's most important, and everybody's North Star, I truly believe like People want like we're all trying our best and doing a good job. And we want our kids to grow up to be successful and happy and healthy and all of these things. And when you like take your North Star, like what is the goal? If your goal is like, my kid's gonna play professional sports, like you probably already have some other like reflection that needs to happen. But if I'm just I want my kid to do what they enjoy, I want them to make friends and have fun and to learn these lifelong skills that sports teach. Like if me signing them up for this travel team is gonna make me feel differently about the amount of pressure I'm putting them on or, you know, whatever whatever investment that you're making changes that for you, like maybe that's not the right move for you and your family. Maybe it is and you can like check yourself and figure out how to how to manage both, but it's not about you at the end of the day. And it's like a hard truth to hear and it and I get it, like it we're competitive well you know, it's we want Rhett Parker: Tough. Morgan | Positive Play Project: our kids to do well. We wanna give them the best opportunities. but is it truly the best opportunity for them or is it like social status for you to say that your kid's playing on this team or, you know Rhett Parker: Hmm. Interesting. Yeah, I yeah that's a that's a I mean, that is a a very real thing. I I I I like Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Tot I mean yeah, I get it. Yeah. Rhett Parker: a and I'll continue to say this and I think this might be like the third podcast in a row. Your genetic makeup Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Rhett Parker: matters as much as the money you spend and probably more so. So like and and it's just it's just it's life. Like it's if you're five one, I don't think volleyball, I'm not a volleyball person. Never, never never have Morgan, you're the volleyball person. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Is if if your daughter's 5'1, it's probably and I'm not saying it's you know 100 to zero, but you're probably not gonna be a volleyball player, right? There you go, maybe, maybe, but you're if you're Morgan | Positive Play Project: in the front row. Maybe a libero. Maybe a libero. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: six-one, your odds increase, like it, like no matter what, just walking through the door, six one versus five-one, you're more of a volleyball player at six one than five-one most of the time. It's not a hundred to zero. parents. So like I I know that, you know, because I've gotten I've gotten some grief on on some some stuff for social media because, you know, I think I was talking to a coaching friend of mine. We were talking about, you know, you know, recruiting and and and and this. And it's like, God, no one's attacking you as a parent for wanting the best for your kids. If your kid at 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, whatever, is the best player in your city, in your region, in your state, in whatever, awesome. Nobody is saying, like, it doesn't it doesn't matter. I think what we're saying is the correlation between being the best 12-year-old, let's just say, in the state of North Carolina in baseball, doesn't correlate. To going and playing at North Carolina and getting ready to play, you know, to try and win a national championship. That that that's all we're saying. It doesn't correlate. And if you think it does, it's not a good thing. I I I will stand on that. It's not good because you're setting up expectations that probably are not realistic. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Not realistic for your child and you're putting pressure on them, maybe inadvertently, like you're not realizing that Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: now they f are it takes away the like love of the game. And I will say this till I am like blue in the face. You could have like the most talented, best baseball player in North Carolina. They could be genetically like tall and fast and strong they don't love the game if they're not like willing to put in the work because they comes from like a genuine passion and love because we've ruined that for them or they just don't like it doesn't matter. Like they're like playing at a high level is so you have to love it so much to be successful and to even enjoy it because it's really hard. Like it's a lot. Rhett Parker: It it is. Morgan | Positive Play Project: And so it's not for ever it and that's fine. Like it doesn't have to be for everybody, but it also it like has to come from within them, right? Like you can want it for them, sure, if that 'cause you they you think that they want it. But like true wholeheartedly, like it has to be the thing that they want and are willing to work for and that you, you know, like do the things. or like it's it's not gonna happen. Rhett Parker: And and there are some people that are just so blessed and gifted genetically that they don't Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Rhett Parker: have to work that hard and they can still go and do it. And and that's a hard it trust me, I I've watched it, I've lived it, and you just kind of look and you're right like, dang, no matter what I do, that guy's better than me. And Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: and you just you you gotta hope and all right, new goal, not gonna the best. I just wanna be on the same field as that guy. And Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I just if I'm keep being on the same field or the court or whatever with that person, man, I'm really good. You know, and it's a hard it's a hard thing, you know, because when you're really good and and you're great in your area and maybe you're the best person. And then you you, you know, you're one of the best in your state and then you're one of the best in your region. And you know that that that pond keeps getting smaller, man, it's a hard thing. It's a hard thing for parents to to realize, my God. Whew. It's a big giant, Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Rhett Parker: it's not just a big giant country. It's a big giant world out there. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yes. Rhett Parker: And other people, you know, are are wanting to, you know, have the same things as as other parents and other kids for their for for their kids in sports. So so Like I said, yeah. Morgan | Positive Play Project: But I think on that point, like what what I would like emphasize, and this like isn't a great lesson for all areas of your life, like control the things that you can control, right? If I wanna be the best volleyball player I can be, I'm gonna do all the like everything I know that I need to do to be the best, to jump the highest, to be the fastest, to learn the game, to be the most strategic. Like What everyone else is doing or is gifted with is irrelevant to like I can't control that, right? Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: I can control the work that I do and how I show up every day and the type of teammate I am and the type of leader I am. And like if at the end of the day I gave it everything I had and I was the best that I could be, like you walk away whatever time you walk away from it, knowing that you you did everything you could. You know, like I'm not gonna be the best player. Because genetically, you know, ten more people are ahead of me, fine. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Like I had the best time that I could. I played at the highest level that I could because I was willing to do the work. Like you'll be like content, right? Rhett Parker: And and that might mean you're at a junior college and that's all you do. Or a division two, division three, an Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Yep. Rhett Parker: NAI school. And that that that is okay because what we have, you and I, along with a lot of other people, we have great experiences and relationships that we gain through playing sports. And Morgan | Positive Play Project: For sure. Rhett Parker: the the you know the the the people that I know. and kids that I've coached that have money in their bank account, you know, because they played in the big leagues for a while. Yeah, they're different. They're Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: different. And and there's a lot of people that that I played with and against and that that played got paid to play. They have other jobs now. Like Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: very few people have money in their account and they're set for life and like I I mean minuscule amounts. Even the people that played college, professional, whatever. And you know, even those guys that do have that they have the money, which is congratulations. That's amazing. But their relationships and experiences are just as valuable. They they like they are. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. I made well when I played in college, you weren't allowed to make b to play, to make money, right? And Rhett Parker: Yeah. Morgan | Positive Play Project: I like volleyball has never like made money for me like directly. Rhett Parker: Right. Morgan | Positive Play Project: But a hundred percent the success that I have as an adult today is attributed to the people that I met, the lessons I've learned, that the human that I've became because of the skills and the effort that volleyball taught me. so it's so much more than just that, right? Yeah. Rhett Parker: It is. Well, so there's the transfer portal is just it's rolling now. And you know, I I've talked to a lot of players and people, and I'm like, the the decisions that people are making, in my opinion, they're wild right now. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: Like they're like, well, I'm gonna get twelve thousand dollars more over here. I'm like, twelve Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: dude, like. Do not let that be the reason why you're choosing this school over the because that 12 grand is not, it doesn't matter. It it in five years you're gonna be like, dang, wish I would have gone to to there, because that's actually where I wanted to go. But God, Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Rhett Parker: they the offer just wasn't enough. Like, what? Who Morgan | Positive Play Project: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: like hey, if it's 200,000, okay. like I'm with you. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Substantial yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: That's not even gonna matter in your life. It's it's like the 20 grand is not gonna matter. 12 like it's not gonna matter. And I feel like, is it a status thing? Cause it it's not it shouldn't really be a financial thing when it's a small amount. Like it should be what is best for you and your career and and honestly your role and your playing time and your relationship with that coach and program. And man, I feel we have lost the plot. my God. And I'm just talking more baseball, but I'm like Morgan | Positive Play Project: I mean, I think it's across I th I I think th I mean, it's not new new, but it's new, right? So there's like there's not a lot of hindsight and perspective to be shared yet. but I think for s people who maybe have played at a higher level, like we know what was important and what truly is gonna make a great experience and like when I was playing and I think they still say this now, like the N C double A says like, you know, a hundred thousand athletes and you know, almost all of us will go on to be professional in something other than our sport. And like if you're gonna play in college, if you've made it to that level, I think like that's the right mindset to have, right? Like I'm gonna choose a school 'cause they have a program that I'm passionate about and that I might wanna pursue when I'm done and they have an amazing coach that I think vibes well with me and we're gonna like I'm gonna learn a lot and I can contribute to this program and it's in a location that whatever you know, like all of the things that actual sure actually matter. Yeah. Rhett Parker: Yeah. How about winning? How about winning? Like winning's fun. Morgan | Positive Play Project: They have great, you know, the philosophy of the girls or the teammates that they're recruiting are in line with my own values of how I wanna operate. Like there's so much more that's important than that. But I get it, like Rhett Parker: But but we're losing. But I I just will tell you, like, those things are taking a back seat to the offers now. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Totally. Yeah. Rhett Parker: And you know, it's not again, it's there's a lot of gray area, but there's four people right now that hit the portal. Okay. This is this is just my personal take. There's Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: the ones that are going up to actually get paid. Like, okay, I'm gonna go get paid now by, you know, the bigger schools, okay. Then there's the ones who just make a lateral move. most of the time, in my opinion, for no reason. And they're Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: going to a school at the same level. and sometimes maybe it's a degree, it's a coach, it's whatever. That doesn't make a lot of sense. Then there's three that, I didn't play. I'm I have no plan. I'm just gonna go in the portal. Okay. And you're and you look at those guys like, dude, you didn't play. I can't help you. Like, I you didn't play. And by the way, if you think you're going to the same level, you're gonna go down a level or two. Like, that's the reality. Here's the one that people don't talk about enough. And it's starting to happen more. There's the number, the fourth one. And it's a lot of the times a division one player who just wants, he's 21, just wants to go play. He doesn't care anymore because he's like, man, I thought it was all about this, and they're like, Man, I'm gonna go to a division three school, try to win a national title or an NAI school or division two. I'm gonna go play with other people that are in the same boat as me. We're gonna be Morgan | Positive Play Project: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: really good. We'll probably beat a lot of the division one schools because we're older and we have guys. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Rhett Parker: And I don't wanna, I don't, I don't wanna like get 10 at bats anymore. Like, I wanna just go play and get my degree because I know I'm not gonna play professional baseball. And man, I talked to those guys and I'm like, this is awesome. Because it's clicked in your mind now that like you just want to go have a great experience in college and try and win and go play and not sit. And now you're older and now you're more physical. And now like, and by the way, the small college stuff is and you know you played, dude. There's there is there's unbelievable players at those levels that can easily play division one. that's the one. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Sure. I mean I that's the first that's like if they had if everyone had that mindset going into it, I think everything everybody would be so much better off. you know, like Rhett Parker: A hundred percent. Morgan | Positive Play Project: that's the like wisdom that has come with the last few years of of like learning what it all really is about. so you know, then they only got one year left, but yeah, for sure. Yeah. Rhett Parker: Great. It it it it makes me happy though. It's like, man, dude, go have fun. And then they're gonna turn around Morgan | Positive Play Project: Enjoy it. Rhett Parker: in ten years back, man. I had the best time. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: did you have the best time at at you know University of Utah? No, I I had the best time at you know at at Central Washington or or Linfield or I'm trying to think of a Belmont Abbey. There you go. I got a I got a North Carolina school. but I I love it. I it makes me really happy and it makes me realize that we're s there is certain areas that we're starting to figure it out in. so tell me more about the Positive Play project. Like Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I I want to know I you know, because I obviously I've I've watched, you know, some of the social media things that you're trying to do and and you know, tell us what changes we're trying to make and you know how how Parents can use this as a resource. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. yeah, I mean it started as a wanting to create a an outlet for people who are maybe thinking about sports see sports a little bit differently and share a different I think hopefully a different perspective. create a community where people who wanna do make a better impact and kind of change the way that things have been going. My hope was to create just awareness and resources for parents and coaches to to, you know, shed this light on information. I think it's turned into like an interesting movement and there's obviously a lot of people in this space that I I think have have a lot very similar ideals and values a around the the work that needs to be done. So yeah, I mean it it truly started as a I'm gonna post every day for 30 days and just see what happens. And that was like mid-March. It's now June. Like it's it's had a lot of momentum, which is very humbling and exciting. and now I think the next opportunity for it is to create like more actual tangible resources. So there's a few playbooks I've made that for coaches and parents that they can use. And I think how I think about it now is like what is the best way to make the biggest impact? and to give people tools and and resources to you know, take into their leagues or their sports, like regardless of of where they are to Hopefully do things a little bit differently. Lots of you know, more to come on. I don't know. Figuring it out as we go. But yeah. Really, yeah. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Well And we're in the same boat. Like you know, we're not trying to be some, you know, pod big podcast. I think it's I get on this as a parent and I'm trying to learn, right? Listening to you and listening to other people and trying to, you know, give resources to other people. That's the only reason we're doing this. It's we're very similar 'cause like this is you know, I'm not trying to make some big giant podcast and you know we're just trying to help people and and and people might like what we're saying and people might you know dislike what we're saying and and that's that's totally fine. so the people that don't agree with what you're saying or or me for that matter. What do you say like what? What are your thoughts on that? And and I'm not trying to be controversial here, but like speak to those people that are, you know, because I I do I I you know the the you did go you did go viral, you know, and I think a lot of people were upset, you know, talk because I did see that. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure. Rhett Parker: I might even have chimed in there and I don't normally do that, but like w w what do you say to people that don't agree with what you're saying about, you know, maybe taking sports a little too serious at too young of an age or multi sport athletes or or any of that stuff? Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah, I think, you know, in our country country in general, I think there's like very polarizing sides. And so genuinely Rhett Parker: Rabbit. Morgan | Positive Play Project: I hope my messages are opening an avenue to like have a conversation and and Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: learn a different perspective or learn something that maybe you didn't know before that could I'm not I don't need to change everybody's opinion. That's Rhett Parker: Hm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: not my intent. But like when you I always have said like when you know better, you can do better. Right. If I don't Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: have this information and I don't know, then I'm just gonna do what I've always done and that's fine. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: So yeah, I mean I'm open like again, I I don't claim to know it all. I'm learning as we go, just the same as you. I this is Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: just something I really genuinely care about. I do a lot of research on, I have a lot of conversations, I have my own lived experiences. and so yeah, the like it's fine to have different opinions, but I think that they're the people that come in like hot, like really upset that I've said something, I'm always and I true wholeheartedly believe, like I've had a few people like and I don't know if it's for whatever reason, people have some like very not nice things to say sometimes. It like I also wholeheartedly believe like whatever negative or not nice thing you're saying is a hundred percent a reflection of your own situation and has nothing to do with me, right? Like what you think about me is none of my business. Rhett Parker: hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: And so my hope is that I it's like, all right, may you know, maybe you came on and whatever, if you're gonna leave negative comments, at least it's engagement 'cause it's gonna spread it more anyway. So there's that aspect. Or Rhett Parker: Yeah, for sure. For sure. Morgan | Positive Play Project: maybe you're like somewhat open to learning and and at least exploring a different perspective. Rhett Parker: But why do why do we feel the need to put people down, especially in new sports? Like yeah, I I I don't that's Morgan | Positive Play Project: I don't yeah, totally. I don't know. Yeah. Rhett Parker: the part where I I I I mean, I had someone come at me pretty hard and I was like, you know, and and like I said, thank God for the guy producing this, because I am I wouldn't even be able to get any of this off the ground. And it's been so helpful for my life to have conversations like this. and think about things from different perspective and sometimes I don't necessarily agree with the people that we have on or dish but I hundred percent hundred percent it it it it it it is and every kid Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah, sure. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't only talk to people that you agree with. That's like the problem. The root of all the problems, right? Yeah. Rhett Parker: and situation and where you it's all different and Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Rhett Parker: you know so I I think that's a that's the right approach right like if if you feel the need to attack you know us on social media Think about why you're doing that, you know. And and by the way, like, you know, especially since we're trying to be positive and we're talking about passion for the game and continuing to have people play. I have seen so many videos lately of people going after umpires, like physically. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Same. Rhett Parker: And I'm like, it's going more and more and more like that's not I I don't care what side of the fence you're on in terms of single sport athlete, do we gotta play more? We gotta do this, we have to do this. That is wrong no matter what. That we're caring that much about, you know, eleven U baseball or twelve U baseball or volleyball or soccer or basketball. Okay, that that's a pro I'm just gonna tell you that's a problem. It's a big one. Morgan | Positive Play Project: I would even argue like I don't think that's like we care too much. If you cared enough, like you would recognize that that's so far beyond acceptable, like in any realm of anything, that it's it's like an adult ego problem. And like lack of emotional, so many things, lack of emotional intelligence, like Rhett Parker: Think it's money too. Like people have people any I buy by the way, I am all for people making money on e sports. I really am. I I have no problem with it. as long as you're providing value, I'm a hundred percent on board. And you could charge whatever you want. If if it's valuable for for the families, then good for you. That's the way I I approach it. People don't necessarily a hundred percent. But do you think that Morgan | Positive Play Project: Yeah. Free market, as long as it's a free market. Rhett Parker: the money plays a factor Okay, so we talked about the parents spending the money and the expectations rising. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Rhett Parker: But from the coaches and facilities and clubs and do you think that plays a factor in what we're talking about here? Morgan | Positive Play Project: I mean, yeah, yes. I think that the again, like the the resources and the investment or like the opportunity to earn you know, the potential for a financial return, I think increases the stakes and the pressure. and I think and I and this is gonna be like controversial to say and I've said this before and I've had people disagree, but like Most of the time I would argue that the people who are having these like unacceptable or like out outlandish reactions are not people who've played or have the perspective of like a higher level of understanding that. Because like I think when you've played at a higher level or coached at a higher level, you have like just a different vantage point of like where we're truly at in the Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: kids' development. And I guess that doesn't necessarily mean that your r behavior is better. Hopefully it does, because you have a different perspective. But again, if you're like, this is the this is the it's about the kids. Like and at the end of the day, like I don't care if you spent a million dollars or one dollar, like if it's if what you're doing is for the kid and the kid's in the driver's seat of where they wanna go and take this and how they w you know, whatever, then like be okay with it. Like Rhett Parker: that's gonna take Morgan | Positive Play Project: It's not real. Rhett Parker: no, that's gonna take people off. 'Cause cause I've I've had I you know, and sometimes, you know, I've been coaching in some games and and you know, some coaches have done some things that's that's outlandish. It does listen, doesn't mean you can't be passionate. Doesn't mean I don't say to the umpire or my catcher, hey, hey, is that out? Okay, it's not, okay, well then scoot in. Like I I Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Rhett Parker: we all we all are competitive and that no one's saying that, but like Man, there's been a few times I'm like, hey man, like, dude, you need to settle down. And then I kind of look over at the guy, and I'm like, my God, there's no way this guy played. And then listening to him talk. And and I'm not saying you've had to play at any high level or like even high school to be a good coach. That's not what I'm saying. But like, I do agree with what you're saying. I think the most outlandish people, it's not all the time, but most of the time are people that wanted to play. Or wanted to be Yeah, exactly. I I see the look in the face. And you're Morgan | Positive Play Project: I know what you mean, yeah. Rhett Parker: like, guy, your career's over. Your Morgan | Positive Play Project: Vicariously. Yeah. Rhett Parker: your career's over. So's mine. So's Morgan's. Every like we're all done. And I find it. Me too. And I wasn't even that good. Like Morgan | Positive Play Project: fine with that. I lived saying I loved it when I was in it and I had the best time and like my life has now I have different priorities and like an amazing family and like want my you know Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: like life has moved on and that's okay. And I don't need to go back and relive that for myself or through anybody else. Yeah. Rhett Parker: And and you and Morgan, for for me, it's okay that we wanna win too if we're coaching. That's fine. Like but Morgan | Positive Play Project: Hundred percent. I'm so yeah. Would pe what I think makes me the most annoyed beyond everything else, like the crazy things is that they're like, you're one of those like participation trophy parents or like you don't if I care about fun, then I don't care about winning. And I'm like, first of all, my family won't even like play a game of cards with me 'cause it's like not fun for them 'cause I Rhett Parker: Yeah. Morgan | Positive Play Project: care I'm like so competitive. It's innate in me. But also like that's not true. Like I I can get into the whole thing about you know, but like winning is fun for sure, but it's not the only thing and like I you know, like don't don't come for me in that way. Like you don't know what you're talking about. Rhett Parker: Well because because it says positive play project, that automatically means you're just about participation trophies. Go watch some of your go watch Morgan | Positive Play Project: Sure, yeah. Or like then I'll say Yeah. Rhett Parker: some of her clips if you're listening to like go watch some of her cli. That is not it's actually not what you're saying. It's okay to be competitive, but Morgan | Positive Play Project: Not at all. Yeah. Rhett Parker: but it can't surpass trying to be positive and realizing what we're out there. That's the whole point of what you're doing, if from my perspective as a parent. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Right. Winning is not the foundation. Like how you operate and the way that we develop these athletes and what we're teaching them is the foundation. And when you're doing that right, you're creating an environment that people want to come back and play in and willing to work hard. And because you're doing all those things, like the goal is still winning, of course. Rhett Parker: Mm. Morgan | Positive Play Project: Like, but there can only be one winner of every game. So that like if If what everyone's saying is true or, you know, like it has to be about winning, well then every game somebody's like doing it wrong or gonna be you know, like that that's not sustainable or realistic. So like that that can't o be the only thing. Rhett Parker: Well, I peop 'cause people don't take the time to look at what you're trying to do. But well th I I I think this is great. you know, I think I think in a in a really weird way, sort of in a different way, we're actually trying to achieve the same thing with what we're doing here and I I I commend you for it. And you know, how how can people find you and and and get some more resources for everything that you're doing? Morgan | Positive Play Project: most of the content, the best content I think is on Instagram, which is at Positive Play Project. I've also created a substack, which was the intent was to create like a longer form, an opportunity for a longer form, 'cause to your point, like you see a blip on Instagram and it's you get a impression and you think you know what it's about, but hopefully the the longer form content. So that's same at Positive Play Project on Substack. I'm on all the other ch like TikTok and all the other things too, but it's just it's the same content. and then that on their website is some of those resources and other things for if you want to go deeper. Rhett Parker: this is great. A positive play project. Like I said, it was one of the first sort of things. I'm like, this person gets it. and yeah, I'm sure we'll clip some stuff and we'll get some haters coming out, which is great. and you're welc everyone's welcome their opinion. And yeah, thanks for starting the conversation. And this is this is great. I I I appreciate as a parent everything you're doing and I like I said, I'm I'm paying attention to it and There's a few things that have already helped me. So yeah, definitely appreciate you coming on.