Frank Decembrino: How Adults Ruin Youth Sports

Rhett Parker: Hi, and welcome to another episode of Surviving Youth Sports. And today we have my good friend Frank DiSambrino from Philly. He is a founder of Clubhouse Baseball Academy and has ran the Boilermakers baseball program for 13 years. And I'm excited to I some I sometimes I like to have new people on, Frank. Sometimes I like to have my friends on. 'Cause those conversations Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: are so different, man. Welcome to the show. Frank Decembrino: Well it's great to be on. It's it's it's good to talk to you. good good to see ya. I know we haven't seen each other in person in a in a little Rhett Parker: I know. Frank Decembrino: while. but yeah, man, I'm excited. I I love what you guys are doing. The conversations are needed and entertaining and informative and I think that's a really cool thing. Rhett Parker: Trying to trying to trying to be entertaining, Frank. You know you you know me. I always try to I always try to entertain. Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: but but let's let's start about, you know, you know, give us a little bit of your background, you know, and and how that led you to to start the Boilermakers, man. Frank Decembrino: Yep, so I I always start off by saying I'm a teacher, first and foremost. I I was a health and physic teacher for eighteen years. for ten of those years I was the head coach at Cheltenham High School and for two years before that I was the assistant coach there as well. So I got started pretty young, right out of college, teaching and coaching. I I always wanted to do that. I really enjoyed my years in the classroom and as I progressed through my role as a head coach and climbed the ladder in education, became a department chair and kind of started working not just with the children but with the adults in education. I realized that my passion was a little bit more on the business and and organization side of of baseball. And most importantly my my son and my daughter started to get involved in in their things with youth sports. and that's what kind of like pushed me out of high school coaching at first. but I I I stumbled into the sports side business side of things accidentally. I started camps when I first took over as the high school head coach. And the reason I started those camps was because I was tired of losing and I knew the only way to really improve our circumstance was to get with the younger kids, get them excited about baseball and teach them the things that I was frustrated about on the diamond in that moment. And that was the beginning of what became a business journey that I I do now full time. So that that's kind of my backstory. Rhett Parker: No, and and and I think really people in this industry that are that are good people that do it for the right reasons really attract one another, man. And and that's sort of how we, you know, have become close, man. And and again, I'm sure there's plenty of people out there who don't think we necessarily do things right. And that's okay. That's okay. You're never in the youth sports world ever going to be find a hundred percent of the people that are like, man, you know that. That that Rhett Parker and Frank Frank DC Bruno, God, he do it right. There's just, it's not possible. It's it's impossible. And you you brought up something, because Boilermakers, really good program. and by the way, man, if you're running sports out in Philadelphia, I mean, you gotta have some thick skin and and you gotta be tough. but your son, who's who's a great kid, he's a really good player, Frank Decembrino: Thank you. Rhett Parker: is now a senior in high school. And you started this club, he's obviously gone through it. Tell us about about Frank Decembrino: Yep, so yeah, thank you. Frankie gradu just graduated and he's he's off to sales university Rhett Parker: Awesome. Frank Decembrino: to play baseball and and pursue a degree in in business and Rhett Parker: So cool, man. Frank Decembrino: we're excited. Yeah, it's it's it's a cool time. so fr Frankie's been passionate about baseball since I can remember and in a passionate in a way that like certain kids like are attracted to Star Wars or Legos like in our generation. Like he is just obsessed with the business of it, the development of players and playing the game obviously himself. And ultimately I'd started teaching and coaching before he was born. And the business that that we started the Boilermakers out of the Amber Sports Academy, that was that was right the year he was almost I think he was like two years old when we when we started. So I had no clue if his, you know, passion in life was gonna be baseball or another sport or sport nothing sport related at all. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Frank Decembrino: and we started the Boilermakers. Actually the the the the academy was a teaching and learning center. my partner Shannon Gumby and our our key guy Tim Johnson who who we coached just a couple of years before that, like when we were young coaches, they we were just we built it so that there was three lanes for the three of us. Tim was away in minor minor league ball and when he came home, he would he would take a lane and then That was it. That was like you know, what the Academy was all about. And as we evolved, we realized that we were working with some pretty good players that were on these what were becoming travel teams. And, Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Frank Decembrino: you know, I think we were in business ten years before we really hit the team thing hard, but we did try it, like 2014, we started the first Boilermakers baseball team because these kids that Shannon actually taught in school and came as customers were really good players. There's a it's like a Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Frank Decembrino: just a one of those moments. And the parents we you know, we were helping their kids, they said, Where should we go to play? And there wasn't a lot of options. And and there were some people that may have been unqualified to work with kids, you in in their in their eyes. And they said, Well, we want you to run a team. Now at the time I had toddlers and you know the head coach of a high school team Shannon was the head coach of a high school team and we only had two people working there and Timmy said I I want to coach team and I'm like okay well he had retired and was home all the time now and I said okay we're gonna give it a shot but it's gonna be done our way or my way. Shannon would have nothing to do with it. He was like there's there's no way. Right. I said all right Rhett Parker: No. Frank Decembrino: well I'll do them different. I'll do it outside of the you know Keep the main business the main thing and I'll I'll do the team to give it a shot. Well, Rhett Parker: Yeah. Frank Decembrino: we do it and they were really good, the team. Like really Rhett Parker: Yeah. Frank Decembrino: good. And and my high school team, that the team I was coaching that last two years was very good. The best they were since Reggie Jackson days. So Rhett Parker: Yeah. Frank Decembrino: my time I I did not have time for for travel baseball. And after the first year and a half, I I said, We can't serve these kids. w what they need 'cause they were in high school, you know, they were going into that ninth, tenth grade season and they were really good, man. And I and I I called the people I cared about most, Dave Amaro, who's now one of my partners, and there was a guy Mark that Shannon grew up with out in Central PA that was running WorkCal I think was at the time, King Keynes. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Frank Decembrino: so so we called these guys and we said, Hey man, like we've got these kids that need a little bit more than what we can give and they were placed accordingly and and the majority of them went on to be successful high school and college players at some level. And I got out of it. And then our softball person at the time was Crystal Ray, who we've met and she's like, hey, I wanna do these teams and and I'm like, here we go with the teams again. And then Rhett Parker: Right. Frank Decembrino: we did it with soft so we resurrected boy makers with softball first. and she did that. And and then again it when I was coaching like the youth I I gave it all with youth man, from quick ball all the way up to twelve Rhett Parker: Yeah. Frank Decembrino: U. Both kids on the board, the whole deal. And twelve you came around and I'd made some friends with the competition and my son was now playing all these teams. And that guy two people. There was a guy who played professionally, who was just not gonna subscribe to anybody he didn't trust. And you know, friends of ours, the parents were college athletes, and he said, If you don't run a team, I we don't know what we're gonna do. Like pretty much pushed me into it. And I was like Rhett Parker: Yeah. Right. Frank Decembrino: boy. And now my son's in the mix. And I'm like, I thought I was getting away from this. So the first two coaches were Tim and Mike. Mike, you know, is a pitching guy for us since day one. And I just kind of was the GM and put the team together and no tryouts. Just you thirteen kids that you all kill each other every weekend when we play. Now you're on the same team. We're gonna teach you the game and then you guys go play. Well, that was the beginning of, you know, Frankie's journey. And then that was our first I would call fully committed program team and and we graduated them in twenty five. Frankie actually was a year a grade below those kids. but that was you know, they're a special group because the whole thing was built off of them and then their siblings and their siblings friends and their family like it was a very Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. Frank Decembrino: organic slow growth and and our my model back then was I didn't want to hire a coach and and position them with a team unless they worked under myself or Tim. For a year or for at least a season. And then the next guy in was Pete Moore, who's one of the most celebrated college players around these parts, and a high school coach for 23 years, head coach. And when he was bringing his youth group over, and man, we had the we had the stars lining up and stayed at about three teams, and then kind of like the demand just kept growing every year after that. And that's kinda where we are today. Rhett Parker: Yeah. And I I I feel like there's obviously a lot of there's a lot of hate towards travel ball, but there's also hate towards Little League and all these things. And whether you do it right, you know, and obviously, you know, we're close, so I'm biased. I'm gonna I'm gonna say that, you know, hey, you you do it right. And so there's people that don't agree with that, it's fine. Frank Decembrino: Thanks. Mm? That's fine. Yeah. Rhett Parker: But so many people take you, who in my opinion, do it right, and the person that I know that doesn't do it right and go, they're all bad. Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: They're all bad. They're all bad. They're all bad characters. What do we do? Like, what like how do we differentiate the good characters from the bad characters and people out there that only care about this? And by the way, it's okay to make money. in use sports. I'll say that forever. If you're providing value, Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: go make money. You're you're providing value. Like go do it. But I feel like everyone's getting lumped into one. Like they're all bad. They're all bad. What are we doing? Like what what Frank Decembrino: Yep. I I agree I agree with you. Yeah. I agree with you and and I think that's just human nature. And I think it's the way you look at a lot of different things in life and th there there's always everybody always focuses on the negative of the bad actors that are usually the minority of things, you know. I listen I've always been of the mindset that we're gonna work hard on what we do and we're gonna develop this program based on these values and this foundation. And I can't let myself or or our key people or our families get distracted by outside noise that really has nothing to do with us. I mean, we feel like everything we do is transparent. we provide a lot of value to these kids where, you know, everything that they're investing in, we deliver and then some. And we're very conscientious of, you know, cost and we have a hard time navigating it because as as we're building the training and the home for these kids and the r and you know, all the things they need as a resource that we can control and and be fair with. We can't control events, we can't control where they're located, we can't control what the NCA is gonna do. It's gonna have a trickle down effect. But as long as we're transparent and and we communicate, we navigate those things. And and listen, w I have professional educators in our staff that it's built on education. the first facility with Shannon, we were doing just a facility together, it started with two teachers and then the next two teachers, and that was kind of how we ran that. And then when I started the Boilermakers, I tried to stick with high school coaches that I believed were doing it for the for the right reasons and love the game. And Rhett Parker: But yeah. Frank Decembrino: look, last thing is there's a big difference between being profitable for sustainability and the run of business and People to make a living and there's profiteering. That's not the same profit. So profiteering is exploitation and jacking up prices for bigger margins for no necessary reason. Profitable means that we can invest in people, infrastructure, future programming, and and and do the things necessary to make sure everybody's safe. I'm proud of that. You know, to be profitable there is Rhett Parker: For sure. Frank Decembrino: is is needed, or else we don't exist next year because you can get kinda in arrears very quickly if you're not doing things the right way on the budget side. Rhett Parker: Sure. And transparency is not social media posts, guys, or what your 13U Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: team's win loss record is. And I think Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: you just hit the nail on the head. If you can't be transparent, you it okay. Baseball, soccer, volume it doesn't matter. If you can't get transparency from a club that you're looking at playing for. Run for the hills is my I don't Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: care how much they win. That's that is irrelevant. Okay. Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: I think I think transparency about what things cost, what thing, you know, what things are are being paid for, what things are not being paid for, you know, who who is on the team, not who you hope is on the team. Do you do pickup players? Do you not do pickup players? But I mean, there's so Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: many things to ask. Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: it but before you join Frank Decembrino: Yep. Rhett Parker: a team that are not on the website, that are not on social media. And and I feel like the the some of the worst characters are the best at marketing and promotion. Like I Frank Decembrino: Yep. It's I'm weary of it, you know, like I I I'm very cautious of people that spent that amount of energy really telling the story of a of a kid's journey to profit off of it or or to get more views or whatever it may be, because if you're doing it to celebrate the kid and their accomplishments, that's awesome for that all day. But there's a point where it's like you know, how many times do w do you want us to know that it was it your it you know, it it's not because of you. You're a part of the story. You know, it's the kid. It's Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Frank Decembrino: his or her commitment to this, you know, sport and their journey to excellence and all the sacrifices. If you're fortunate enough to be a part of that story, celebrate it. But don't try to make it look like it's because of you and what you do. that's a huge thing for me. You know. Rhett Parker: my goodness. You just brought up something that I don't think we've even talked about. Because this happens all the time. Could be a Boilermaker kid, could be anybody. And Frank Decembrino: Mm-hmm. Rhett Parker: what's one of the national programs? Trotsky or or Frank Decembrino: Mm. Rhett Parker: you know the Wow factor. Just because that first round pick got picked up in a tournament or two with your team does not Frank Decembrino: Mm-hmm. Right. Rhett Parker: mean they played for your team. It doesn't, it doesn't mean that. So you know, I could I remember for years I'd be like, what? you may a guy in big leagues, Mick Abel for for the twins. I will never forget it. He gets Frank Decembrino: Silly. Yeah. Rhett Parker: drafted. And bam. I mean, like eight teams. Man, congratulations to Mick Abel on being a first round pick. And then Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Right. Rhett Parker: it's like you're like, okay, you know what? I'm just gonna do this. wow, he played MLK tournament with you one time. That he's not part of your program. He's not. Frank Decembrino: Yeah, I th I I hear you. I I think there's a there's a line. I mean congratulating a kid all for that, but then like, you know, using him as a marketing tool. Yeah, I I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Two different things. Two different things. Yeah. Yep. Rhett Parker: Yeah, but that's not but yeah, but they're not congratulation because it's always two former but player. Like, come on. Like, like there's a there's Frank Decembrino: Yeah, right. Right. Right. Rhett Parker: a master. Congratulating the kid. Awesome. But I I and I'm Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Right. Rhett Parker: not trying to single out any particular program. I'm sure the trolls will come out like they always do, but that's okay. but the the Okay, so you so so you you got you got teams, you got you know programs and you got these people and you got marketing, got good characters, got bad characters. Okay. So so some of the teams have facilities, some don't. What layer does the facility add? Because we just talked about development and congratulating your players. You know, if the if the guy plays for you for one summer when he's 17, did you develop that kid? I mean I know my answer. No. But talk how do these all like the ecosystem, how does it all kind of fit together in terms of of and 'cause it's not just it's not just baseball, it's all sports. Frank Decembrino: Yeah, I think yeah, it's a big question because I think the facility and the and the the place that you you know where you're planting and grow and bloom, I think that that That's a really important part of a of a player's journey. And I think if you're gonna be a developmentally competitive program, which is what we consider ourselves, you have to have that garage that you can go to work in. And, you know, it was really important for us to have autonomy there and make sure that the facility was built for for for those for that organization or the or our sister organization, partner organization. they have to have access to it. And, you know. That's it's it's similar to like, you know, in the martial arts or or boxing where you there's a difference between figuring out on your own when you're there working things out or when you're with your instructor. And I think you have to have a little bit of everything. And the only way to do that is to have a have a place to call home. it doesn't mean you can't be successful without one. There's different parts of the country where you can be outside a lot of the time. So having a field may be that anchor place, you know. but you know, our kids th we in in our situation, we feel like the kids gravitated to being together independently within our facility and I I thought that was a really special thing we had and we still have. So it it's kinda like the epicenter. but I I I think like we have kids that train in with some of our instructors, which you know, they may be not part of our particular brands, but they they they do, you know instruction or or camps or something with those people and you know, we we include them as well, but they don't have the the the level of access to that building as the kids that are wearing our jerseys. And that and that that was important Rhett Parker: For sure. Frank Decembrino: that's important for me, you know. as far as the guest playing and stuff, like I I think, you know, th it takes a village to to to to help a player become successful, whether they go all the way up to the show or they they become an accountant, you know, an and a parent. And I think it's really cool that there's a lot of different people that can have those lasting impacts on them, whether they're with them for ten years or two years or one year or a weekend. and Rhett Parker: For sure. Frank Decembrino: I just think it's you gotta be mindful as those people not to be not to exploit in the way you're talking about. because you know they they Rhett Parker: Yes. Yes. Frank Decembrino: the biggest compliment you can get from one of those people that goes on in whatever doing and and particularly in baseball is they say, you know, he's a good baseball guy. Like this go see, go there, they'll help you. Rhett Parker: Yeah, yeah. Frank Decembrino: that that pat on the back is not something you could buy. You can't purchase Rhett Parker: Correct. Frank Decembrino: that type of market. that only comes from one thing and that's just being in the dirt with the kids and really working to help them get better. and that's kind of like our mission. Like we we don't have the national teams and if I have a kid who's gonna be a big big time name and we can't service him, I'm the first one to to find somebody who can because I understand the magnitude of what I'm dealing with and I'm not gonna be be upset about it. yeah, yeah, yeah. I I'm Rhett Parker: Go. But you're still gonna train those kids, Frank. Frank, you're still gonna tra like you still train those kids. Frank Decembrino: I'm gonna contribute, but I'm not taking my whole team to to Jupiter if they don't qualify just to to hit him with the travel fees, you know. So like I said, there the and and Brett, the the thing too is like this is really hard. This is not an easy passion project. This is sleepless nights and worrying about kids' feelings and and and worrying about the parents and making sure that the kids happy and not letting FOMO and all these things that there's they're being attacked by every day disrupt the most important thing which is which is playing ball and and and getting better and it's hard because I think it is off the rails in certain aspects and we do our best to support community baseball. I we try so hard to run programming that complements township and and and local travel. I I'm part of that scene with you know, with quick ball of my past and being a a dish a Cal Ripkin coach and and a Babe Ruth person. You know, we tried like anything that's under thirteen and we we we we try not to interfere with the main season. We train in the winter, we might give them little sampling of competition to get them ready, but we turn back over because you only get you kinda only get one time in your life to play for your town or your school, right? So, It's a hard needle to thread, but at the same time we've got to provide the opportunities for them to get better so they can get to that baseball goal that is just getting harder and harder, man. So it's no easy answer. Rhett Parker: It's it but I mean you don't you don't need to tell me because I I get crushed for doing Little League here with my twelve year old. Well they're in all stars right now Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: and he's having time of his life with his buddies. And Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: you know, I I I just think you you like there's so much value to that too. and and and Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: there's value to to to the to the the wow factors and the Trotskys and the Canes, you know, for certain guys, there's a ton of value. Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: But it's not Frank Decembrino: Yep. Rhett Parker: for everybody. And I think we just we just get lost. It's okay. It's okay. Frank Decembrino: That's okay. That's okay. Yep. Rhett Parker: There you go. You just said it. Like it it's okay. But but now you have, you know, this big because I've I've gotten asked a ton of the private equity. Okay. yeah, private equity. Okay. I I I'll just say this: the boilermakers are not part of what we're talking about in terms of private Frank Decembrino: Mm. Rhett Parker: equity for people that Don't understand. Okay. The private Frank Decembrino: Right. Right. Rhett Parker: equity you're talking about is people with millions to tens of millions to hundreds of millions of dollars coming in and going, man, hey, Frank, love the Boiler Makers program. We want to buy it from you. Okay. But in order to hit our profitability that we need for our investors, Frank, we're going to have to ask you to charge 35% more. Frank Decembrino: Right. Right. Rhett Parker: Okay, and then you you turn to them and go, Okay, well, what more are we gonna provide for for that extra money? well, you just Frank Decembrino: Right. Right. Rhett Parker: got such a great program, man. You just keep doing what you're doing. That's Frank Decembrino: Yeah. That's Rhett Parker: what they're talking about for for people that are lost, that Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's a big topic right now. And you're exactly right. Like the the my interpretation of of things at that at that level are, you know, private equity, any I don't think everything's bad either. I do think there are some some groups out there that with some capital and support and resources can really help these entrepreneurs that have built something that they can't really manage past a certain point. I think Just like we're talking about putting everybody in one bucket is tough because I do know some of the you know, some private equity folks that are very mindful and trying to be strategic and l trying to learn and they're telling me like I I have no business with them but we we talk and and at some of these events and they're like, It's the hardest thing we've ever done, you know, and it's so dynamic and everywhere you turn and I'm like, listen, like this isn't an easy win. It's not like we're flipping burgers here and we could just like put more things on the menu to to get more people in or run a couple more commercials, like Rhett Parker: Hundred percent? Frank Decembrino: You're basically investing in people's like livelihoods and and it took them their whole lives to build that, you know. So but the problem is, in my opinion, is that the the return on investment of some of that money is unrealistic. And you can't Rhett Parker: Unrealistic. Frank Decembrino: just yeah, you can't i i and I'm not an believe me, I'm not in finance. I'm not a I'm not a PE guy, like, I don't have the academic background to support my little intuition here. But what I think is happening is that There is not enough runway to reach success once the money comes in. So once the money comes in, and from what I'm hearing in in in in my travels was, hey, you got this money, now you gotta do X, Y, and Z. Well, you're speaking Greek to the people who are operating this hero-led organically grown sport program that is a nice little business, and all of a sudden you're you're you're throwing terms and you know. forecasting and everything at them, you're taking their eye, not to use the p pun in a baseball conversation, but you're taking their eye off the ball. And then you come back to them and say, Well, how come you didn't hit these numbers? And you're thinking you're gonna get like five to ten X on something that there's just I mean, just count the number k number of kids in that school district, right? Like it's a hard thing Rhett Parker: It's not there. It's not there. Yeah. Frank Decembrino: to do. Now, if it's if it's capital that's there intended for long term growth and success and there's there's a professional development to the operators and giving them a pathway and a runway and understanding the time it's gonna take, I think it'd be a really good thing. I think people would sleep a lot better at night because you know, we put our I put my house up for for my first facility. Like y you know, that it and listen, all the guys I know and the and the women I know that are in this industry that own facilities like at the level I'm at, there's no Ferraris in the parking lot. I mean it's it is Rhett Parker: For sure. Frank Decembrino: it's it's it's y you know, and I'm the not the first one who said something like that. Like I'm looking around, I'm thinking, like, well who's who's the you know, the who's the the person the baron here? Like who's the person who has all everything a and and got it off of selling baseball to kids? Like it's a hard business, man. The the the margins are razor thin. relationship currency isn't typically valued, you know, and that's everything. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yeah. And it it doesn't mean that you can't it doesn't mean you can't make money and you can't be successful doing it. That's that I again, that's not Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: what what what we're saying. I ran a couple successful tournament companies for a long time. Okay. And I tried to tried to do it right. Did I Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: do everything right? Probably not. But but I think there's a lot of effort to do it right. And and for me personally, I can put my head down at night and and and feel comfortable doing that. Now, what people don't get when you really care, okay, and and I know this is you're saying it and and I want people to think about, you know, let's let's just say you play for the Boilermakers. Do you think that Frank, you know, and and the other people that work there get up in the morning when something's not going right and have that sick feeling in their stomach? Okay, do you think they're up at night thinking about how to make it better? Okay, when something's not going right? Because Frank Decembrino: Yep. Yep. Rhett Parker: if the answer is yes, then you're in right spot. If the answer's no, I don't think that person is just taking my money and doesn't care, then you're in the wrong spot. And I I people, I mean, I would get complaints about, All sorts of stuff, you know, and it still do to a certain degree with with the small little, you know, P and W stuff that I still run. But like, man, I care. Like I I I genuinely care. And you know, there's some things that I cared about 15 years ago that I don't now because I'm so calloused, you know, with with with some of the things. And I realized some of the things I valued are not as important now. But like, man, I used to Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: get up sometimes. And man, my stomach, my my wife would be like, dude, especially when I first started, she's like, Are you okay? You did you like didn't eat? I'm like, dude, my Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Right. Rhett Parker: stomach's in knots because I don't have umpires at this field, or this guy umpire was bad, and this guy like threatened Frank Decembrino: Right. Hard businessman. Rhett Parker: a fan, or this coach got thrown out, and he's a guy that I support, and he, you know, acted like a jerk. And and you're like, man, and I know there's people that do care a lot about this stuff, there's people that don't care at all. And We're just in it. We're just in a in a in a you said it earlier, in a negativity space as a society. Okay. And and and we we like to lump everyone into into one or two categories, and that's just the way it is. And there's so much Frank Decembrino: Right. Yep. Rhett Parker: nuance to all of this. And people just aren't aren't picking up on her. They don't care. And it's it's I get frustrated a lot with with those types of things. And I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect as a sports parent. Not perfect on hosting this podcast. You know, I'm not perfect running pack. But I I think people don't ask the right questions, brother. Frank Decembrino: Right. That's that's a great point. It's it's a great point and people have a hard time seeing through different lenses. They're they're so it it's a sensitive situation 'cause you're dealing with their in this case your their children or your customers and they're the you're they Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Frank Decembrino: come as a package deal, right? They can't dry themselves there and It's funny because as they get to like sixteen, seventeen, the relationship changes and it's so autonomous with the player and the coach and the program that it's like there's so much harmony because you know, the kids are kinda earned the opportunity to speak for themselves and chase their own passions and if it's baseball, there's not a lot of interference with that. You know, it's always about support and like, Hey, do you know a nutritionist? Do you know this? Do you know that? And everybody's willing to help, but when they're thirteen, twelve, fourteen, it's like, well, if you're not on the right color team or you're not you know, seen as the the shortstop today, like it's like the world is ending and and it's really it takes a like you said, it takes a lot of hard work and thought to get these people to understand that your job is to help them be successful and that it's not to help, you know, put them behind somebody on purpose or you're you're not scheming against them. You're actually you're the greatest success Rhett Parker: Try to help. Frank Decembrino: if they all do well. Yeah. And no and listen, I always say Rhett Parker: But we get we Frank Decembrino: like coaches want your kid to do great more than anybody else that you see at the ballpark 'cause they want to win. Just as th probably sometimes more than the kids. you know? Rhett Parker: Yeah. Frank Decembrino: So Rhett Parker: Again, there's so many bad characters out there. Like it's it's it's it's hard, and then people assume the worst at times. And you know, I you you said twelve and sixteen, buddy. my youngest. we had our first little get together. What it Frank Decembrino: I was talking about travel. Yeah. Rhett Parker: w my youngest. I'm going back to nine you next year, buddy. Okay. Twelve year olds and nine year olds. I I like we had a a little Frank Decembrino: Right. That was fun. Right. Rhett Parker: practice because little league just ended and we're just, hey, get together and then had like a little pool party. And Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: It's just for next year. And the kids are like, let's practice all summer. I'm like, nope. You guys enjoy your summer. Go play soccer. Go play basketball. We'll get together starting in, you know, February, March. We'll play one or two tournaments, you know, around little league schedule. And that this will dip your toe in. And but man, I I'm you'll you'll laugh. I'm I'm sitting there last night because I've been, you know, I went nine, 10, 11, 12. So now I'm used to dealing sixth graders for, you know, 30 something games, 40 games. And I'm like, yeah, that's right. You two can't be throwing partners because you mess around to like I'm literally my mind's rushing back to like nine year old, Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: you know, four years ago with my oldest of like, yep, you two are not gonna be in the same group. No, I wanna be with him. Nope. Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: Because you guys won't get anything done. And and you obviously don't have that at twelve. You know, you have Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: God, you know, I hope they listen to me today because their attitude sucks. but it Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: was really crazy. Cool last it happened last night. It was really cool of like, dude, man, like now I'm a new voice, right? And I'm like, hey, spread Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: your feet out. Let's get our hands back. Let's get here. okay. And I'm like, you know, where three weeks ago as coaching a 12 year old, they're like, Frank Decembrino: Yeah. This again. Yeah, right. Right. Rhett Parker: Whatever. Whatever. Like you only been only been telling me that for four years. So Frank Decembrino: Right. Rhett Parker: but man, I I I again love what you what love what you're doing. And I know you went through it with with your kid and you're in so many different Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: parts of the of the baseball ecosystem. And you know, what what are the what are the parents like what are we getting wrong right now and what advice do you have? For those parents, since you you have so many lenses that you can look through. Frank Decembrino: Yeah, and and I'll just echo your sentiments that I'm not perfect either and and you know, I did the best I could as a dad, as much as I could, you know, in Rhett Parker: You did good, buddy. Frank Decembrino: the moment. Right, well thank you. And I think what I think they're getting wrong is is when it when a and I worked I actually I I I will take a little credit here. I didn't have to work hard at this because I was a high school coach and I enjoyed working with kids that allowed me to co to coach them without interference and And I always said, you know, I encourage my friends who have kids that are my son's friends, you know, I say just surrender your your son to the program, you know, s surrender. let them you know, strive to reach their objectives and goals and and your your your son and mine, they're a part of that team and we don't know what's happening in that dugout, we don't know what's happening, you know, in practices or in school. And y you know, sometimes you gotta kinda let those experiences happening without interference because that's actually what's the most important part of this whole thing in the first place. If you don't go out and have to compete for something and somebody nothing's given to you. So if if you were playing this position when you're 10 And now you're not playing at 12. That's not a that's not negative. That's an opportunity to do something else to put in your portfolio as a player. And don't snowplow. Let it happen. If a kid gets benched because he missed a sign three times, he's not going to miss you know an email when he's when when he's working somewhere because they know the consequences of being you know negligent and they're gonna be held accountable. And that accountability is part of the the ingredients we're talking about of. that that recipe that's gonna make them who they are later. And that's hard to do, man. Like, you know, as a baseball coach and as somebody who's a teacher, like, I I I'm critical internally. Like I think, man, I I don't know why they would talk to that kid that way or make that decision, but it's not my place. It I'm not a part of that team. My son is. My job is to make the hot dogs and make sure senior pictures were, you know, and if they asked me to do something, I would do it, but I, you know, being involved with with the lineup and Using that as a way to get in and work magic to help my son is just something I I just can't subscribe to. And and I try to tell people, don't do it. You know, it can't say anything. and that that to me is something I think people don't understand. that when they do that, they're actually taking the value of the of the experience in any sport away from it. Let it happen. You know, unless you know, you're this is all in addition, this doesn't include like safety and welfare and all that. Like we're talking about just the X's and O's Rhett Parker: How drip, hold on, yeah. Frank Decembrino: lineups and and positions and all that stuff. So and with the boilermakers, just going back to to Frankie, I I I didn't I assisted teams he was on because of the efficiency of it. But I coached first on that team and I didn't have any say in the batting order. I did the positioning and I I did the administrative and the paperwork and and Tim Johnson, you know, was he was the skipper of that team and and I would you know w Rhett Parker: Good for you. Frank Decembrino: we had a really good working relationship and my and my son at you know Did my heart rate go up when he was up when I was coaching first base? Absolutely. That's human nature. You love your your kids and you want to do well and it's different. But I worked really hard to not let it impact my decisions and to the point where I didn't get involved in high school coaching and I I don't you know, I I know I know my limits when you know Rhett Parker: Yeah. No, I went I I I I went to one of his high school games and you know, like yeah, you're in the stands with me. We were hanging out. which was great. And you know, Frank Decembrino: Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: it was really hard to not coach my kid after this year. Like I I I love doing it. And but again, even if you're doing it right to a certain degree, like people are still not it's so hard. To differentiate like you did dude, I like when he was eleven, he was struggling to put the ball in play, wasn't wasn't walking enough because he can really run. That's his game. He hit last for us. He hit last. He hit last. This year he did better. He hits second, you know, Frank Decembrino: Mm. Mm. Yep. Yep. Rhett Parker: and and had success and the team had success. But you'll never it it it it it always in the back of people's mind sometimes I feel like you y you just well, this is happening because you know, this is a coach's kid. and it and it and it's a hard it's it's a hard thing to deal with, but you just you can't. but you s Frank Decembrino: Yeah, I mean they can't he you can't stop that. Yeah. Yeah. And and I Brett, I will say, you should coach your kids, like when they're at that age, like I and just Rhett Parker: Mm. Frank Decembrino: practice navigating it because listen, we need we need volunteers, we need coaches, we need umpires. And one of my buddies, one of my really good friends, man, like I he was a he was big ligger and we grew up, you know, adjacent to each other and became friends later in life, but our wives are real tight and and he's like I'm like, I can't coach these kids. They Frankie was like, maybe not. And he's like, You're not a plumber. Like, you're a teacher. You're literally a high school based. Like, that's the that's Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Frank Decembrino: that's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Like, you're doing it to like teach Rhett Parker: Yeah, that's funny. Frank Decembrino: them and just put up, like, work on it, but you gotta figure it out, man. Like, they need we need coaches, you know? And then I changed my mindset a little bit. It's not like I said, nothing's easy and it's you just gotta prepare to navigate those turbulent times as dad and coach. Rhett Parker: Snowplow parent. For those that don't Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: know what that means, it means you're driving a snowplow to move all the snow out of the way for your kid so that they don't have to walk through the snow and have any type of adversity. For those that don't know what a snowplow parent is, and they are freaking everywhere. And look in the mirror if Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: you think that you're making it easy for your kid. I'm serious, making it easy for your kid. Don't. It's not the best thing for, especially when you get to the higher levels. You're not even gonna be involved at all. It like not even a little bit. And if your kid doesn't know how to navigate adversity and go talk to people and have those hard conversations, you did a disservice when when they were younger, man. So, well, I'll I I yeah. Frank Decembrino: Yeah. And I and Red to just to echo that I never met a a dude that, you know I wasn't a a a you know, a a big time baseball player myself and I I just love the game, I love teaching it. I l played as much as I could, and for as long as I could, but I one thing I always say too that you can't like snowplow your way into or or or whatever that example is, you can't force passion and and the mentality of a high level athlete. It's the thing that shows up around sixteen or fifteen or s where y you know, it's okay if they don't want to do it anymore and it's okay if they take a different path but because everything they took from the sport is going to help them in the next chapter. And the kids that really, really want it, I mean, I one thing I learned about baseball is it seems like there's a it's it's little bit of an attrition game of the talented as well as it is to get there. You know, and once you're physical enough to play at a certain level, I I feel like it's like you know, that resiliency and that fortitude and that grind, I mean, that is it's it's it's it's it's so special, which is why I love the game so much. But you can't really like make a deal with somebody to make that happen. A kid or a person either has it. you can support it, feed it, but Rhett Parker: Yeah, or or they don't. A hundred percent. Frank Decembrino: but you can't like there's no switch that says, you're gonna love baseball as much as a big leaguer does. Like it's just not how it goes. So Rhett Parker: Hundred percent, man. Well, Frank, man, thanks Frank Decembrino: Yeah, maybe. Rhett Parker: thanks for coming on, dude. This is this is great and gives people Frank Decembrino: Yeah, this was fun. Rhett Parker: a little insight into some of the background stuff and yeah. Frank Decembrino: I was excited to talk to you. Yeah. Rhett Parker: And we and and and as we du dive more into the business stuff, I'm gonna go get go get the the the buying sandlock guys on this thing. because I I I think they're opening a Frank Decembrino: Yeah, great great guys. Rhett Parker: great guys and they're opening a ton of eyes to to a lot of the things that we talked about on a bigger level and Yeah, I Boilermakers, great program in Philly. you know, Clubhouse Baseball Academy that you're running. I I think it's all awesome, man. And yeah, I just Frank Decembrino: Thank you. Rhett Parker: we need more we need more people. We need more good people, brother. I always say that baseball, Frank Decembrino: Yeah. Rhett Parker: soccer, foot football, basketball, it doesn't matter. Frank Decembrino: Yeah, there there's a lot of out there. They're just they're just not talking about themselves that much, which you just gotta go through that network and and and f find Rhett Parker: Sure. Frank Decembrino: But they're out there. There's a lot of good in in at every level, at every style of baseball. There's a lot of good people out there. It's just they get kinda drowned by all the the bad actors and the noise. So they're there. Rhett Parker: Hundred percent. Hundred percent man. Well I appreciate you, brother. Frank Decembrino: Yeah, man, you two it's it's great to talk and see ya.