Bill Hoopes: Parents Are Losing Themselves in Youth Sports

Rhett Parker: Hi, and welcome to another episode of Surviving Youth Sports. And today we have Bill Hoops. I would say, you know, just hearing your background, I'm not even gonna go into all the things that you're involved in. I think it's probably best to let you, you know, talk about your background and all the good things that you're doing for youth sports, especially in the softball world, man. Welcome to the show. Bill Hoopes: Yeah, I appreciate it and and thanks for having me on, right? I am involved in softball, especially down here in the southeast. I've been doing softball in the state of Florida since two thousand ten. I've worn the hat of father, right? Parent. I've worn the hat of coach, I've worn and still wearing the hat of tournament director, therapist, counselor, police officer, you know, all of these Rhett Parker: That's funny. Bill Hoopes: different things and Yeah, so I I never intended to get into softball. I never played sports really as a kid for a couple of years, maybe nine, ten, eleven years old, but came from a really roughed up childhood, lost my father at a young age, dropped out of high school at a young age, and just never really had the stability to even play s youth sports, nevertheless survive them, right? so so my Rhett Parker: I s I love that. That's good. Bill Hoopes: My my journey took me to you know join the Navy and and and kind of grow up that way. I went into Navy recruiting after my fourth year in the Navy. they found out I could speak, right, and and said, Hey, we're gonna we're gonna send you to recruiting and and we think that'll be a good fit for you. This was my first experience working with kids and really having an opportunity to make an impact. I was introduced to high schools and community events. And you know, if you can think of a military recruiter and everything they have to do with the youth population, this is where I kind of learned the foundation. And I and I kind of decided at that point I really liked working with kids. I went back to school, I was in the Navy, I got a bachelor's degree in youth psychology, child psychology, and a master's degree in youth policy development, writing programs for kids, right? fast forward to about 2010. I'm the father of a 10-year-old girl who brings home a flyer that says. Clearwater Little League has signups for softball. And I'm like, all right, cool. Let's do what parents do. Sign their kids up for sports, cheer them on, you know, and and just move forward with this thing we call married life. And we did. We signed her up, and within three weeks the coach got sick. A letter came out and said, The poor little girls are gonna lose their team if no one volunteers to help us coach. This is where Bill Hoop steps in and says Yeah. Rhett Parker: I I've seen those emails too and you're like, man, whoa. Bill Hoopes: Yeah, yeah. So so I I I talked to my chief, my supervisor in the Navy at the time, 'cause I'm still active duty, but on recruiting, and I say, Hey, the kids need me on Tuesday and Thursday for practice and for a few hours on Saturday for this six week time period, you know, d can I get permission to not have to miss any of these. And they said yes, and that turned into two little league seasons of coaching. I took my daughter to a softball camp, which I still didn't even know what travel ball was, and Well, we ended up joining a travel ball team called the Safety Harbor Stone Crabs, right? Which was a f Rhett Parker: Okay. Bill Hoopes: you know, kind of took the Port Charlotte Stone Crabs for the raise, right? They they were following Rhett Parker: Yeah. yeah. Bill Hoopes: that. And had a pretty good team, did alright, and then that team kind of fell apart, and the coach stopped coaching. We were moving to four teens, and it was at this point in time I really started to take softball a little bit more serious. my daughter was going into fourteen U, she was pretty good she was kind of one of those standout kids in the area and and you know we just started learning more about the game so go ahead Rhett Parker: So she's a standout kid in the area, but man, she didn't have to play when she was seven? That's crazy. I I didn't I didn't think that was real, Bill. I thought you had to. Bill Hoopes: She did not. She did not. I I didn't we we didn't introduce her until she was ten. Yeah. Yeah, so I mean listen, that you know, fast forward twenty years, yes. I mean we'll get into that, right? Parents put tons of pressure Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bill Hoopes: and expectations unneeded on kids, which is which is why I wrote a book to help them out, right? Rhett Parker: Right, right, a hundred percent. Bill Hoopes: and and yeah, so we it's funny what to say that a ten year old is is getting a late start, right? which Rhett Parker: That's crazy. Bill Hoopes: is so untrue. It's it's it's insanity, right? So at 14, I reached out to a guy in California named Tony Rico, and I said, Hey, I'm doing this softball thing. I want to bring something else to Florida, not what's already here. You know, do you mind if I bring the Firecrackers to Florida? Which I did. And from 2015 to 2019, I grew the Firecracker organization to over 20 teams in the state of Florida, from Panama City down to Miami. I was running the board, managing the teams, really started leaning into recruiting. This is where I learned the whole process from eight to eighteen U and kind of what each level started to need, right? Did pretty good. In two thousand eighteen PGF called and said, Hey, we see you're pretty popular in the state of Florida. You're running tournaments, you know, or not tournaments at the time, but you're running teams, you know, you're Rhett Parker: teams, yeah. Bill Hoopes: you're on social media, you're helping kids. We're trying to break into that area. Would you help us run a tournament in that area? Sure, buddy. I'll help anybody do anything, whatever whatever you need. If we're long as we're not robbing banks, you know. and I did, and you know, fast forward to kind of shorten it up a little bit. I coached travel. Ball until 2021. I ran the firecrackers till 2019. my history in coaching involves a 3A state championship in the state of Florida as the head coach of Admiral Farragut. a Colorado 9-0, a South Carolina 0, and a top five finish in PGF nationals. All that's great. but getting girls to the next level, helping kids move to the next level, and helping them understand the process, we've probably helped 500 to 1,000 girls get there. Rhett Parker: And and enjoy the sport and be passionate about the sport and be fans of the sport. And people don't Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: realize this. I think sometimes softball is is probably I mean, in terms of of where it was at five years ago even to now, is is on the rise. The the World Series is is bigger, you know, the the AUSL, I mean, it it is Yeah, there's professional softball players now, which, you know, in in in the past they had to go to Japan, they had to go to to Europe and Asia. There was no there was nothing here. So, it's in the Olympics in twenty twenty eight. Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: you know, one of my partners at Softball America, Tara Henry, who's who's been on the show, she's the she runs the the Great Britain national team and they're really trying to get you know, they want a medal. They want a medal and they got they're doing great things over there and Man, that's a lot to take in. Yeah, I don't even want to look at your resume. It's probably about it's probably about that, you know, that that that that big, Bill Hoopes: it's Rhett Parker: but that's awesome. I I mean it it's exciting that you you can tell you have passion for what you're doing. So I want to get back to what we we kind of said there for a second. Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: 10 years old, eight year old, seven year old, whatever. You're not missing out. If you're 16. And you want to go play in college and you're not putting extra time in, you are missing out. Like you're you are. You're not at 10. You're gonna be okay. You'll know when it starts to get a little bit more serious. 13, 14. It it is, it's starting to get more serious because if you don't put the time in, you will fall behind. Why where are we at with this, Bill? And I can tell you, Florida's a heck of a lot different than Washington State in terms of the mentalities. But where are we at? What are we doing? Bill Hoopes: Yeah, I think for me you know, coaching all these years and more importantly, running tournaments, right? I'm at these tournaments thirty weekends a year. I'm seeing hundreds of teams, hundreds of families, from the guy that sits in right field to the mom that jumps up on the fence to the to the people that do everything right. Rhett Parker: I'm in right field. Bill Hoopes: And and look what I've what I've determined is there's kind of three phases to youth you can say sports in general, but specifically for me is softball. and and for for at least the girls, right, there's three phases. There's that zero to twelve 12 years old. And this is where I kind of call the dormant phase, the do what you're told phase. This is where everybody starts to get excited. And if little Jenny and Johnny don't get here and don't get there, and the kids don't even know what's happening. You know, I love when I see a parent post something about their nine-year-old expressing that they want to pick up this weekend. Shocked if that's actually happening. The nine-year-old wants to go to the beach and play with her friends at the playground, right? Maybe she wants to fall in love with softball. Maybe that's a thing. But Rhett Parker: Yeah. Hmm. Bill Hoopes: but again, that that 12 and under. I think this is what the do what you're told phase, right? And then you got the 13 to 15, maybe 16-year-old phase. This is where the player wakes up. I don't wanna play second Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: base. I wanna play left field. I don't wanna be a pitcher. I wanna be a catcher. Right. I I don't even want to play softball anymore. You put me here and I'm not a fan of this. Right? Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bill Hoopes: So what happens is now as the sport is growing, everybody in the sport is growing. So now I gotta be on the ranking boards. Now I gotta be on this team. Now I gotta be in this showcase. Now I gotta be here doing Rhett Parker: Mm. Bill Hoopes: this. And it creates this false panic. that everybody has to be at these certain parameters. And it just doesn't. And as recruiting is changing, I mean Division One just had to change with the five on five rule, right? That's gonna slow everything down, right? When I run tournaments, coaches aren't even going to four TU events. They're just not even showing up there anymore. The coach Rhett Parker: They they're barely going to Bill, they're barely going to sixteen year events. Bill Hoopes: And and will continue probably even more moving forward. So, Rhett Parker: Yes. Bill Hoopes: you know, in seeing those gaps, this is a primary reason why I discovered, brought forward and started working through the Lead Your Journey program is getting people to understand this is a process, right? And it's a process that is going to one day end. And if you don't enjoy this process, you'll never get to watch your granddaughters play because your kids won't introduce them to the sport because they hated it. Rhett Parker: Yeah. Yep. I see that all the time. And and Bill Hoopes: Right? Yeah. Rhett Parker: and the tournament people, because I I said I owned a tournament company for twelve years, whatever it was. I see it all the time. And I'm I and and and not only that, and and and I'll add to that, when you act like a jackass as a parent or a coach and your kids see that and the other kids see that, they're going to act like a jackass when their kids play. And and and like those are the biggest things that like need to be addressed. It doesn't, it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean you can't be passionate, doesn't mean you can't be upset about certain things. It doesn't mean that you can, you know, you have to to to agree with the umpire. You could be pissed at that. That's fine. It doesn't give you the right to to berate them, but it hey, you can disagree with them all you want. And you can voice that disagreement appropriately. You can. I I I'm a I'm a believer of that. But like if you do it appropriately and if you introduce your kid to the sport appropriately and support them appropriately, they're gonna like the sport. They might not love it, but they're not gonna hate it. They they they won't because they're having fun. Bill Hoopes: They'll give you two things, right? I I created a you know a kind of terminology method for that, right? Three R method, they regulate, r recognize, regulate, and reinforce. I have to recognize what's happening right now in this moment as a dad, as a parent, as my kids got strike two. Am I more elevated than she is? And remember when I put my head on my wife's belly and I heard my kid through the womb and I made that connection? She still feels that connection through the fence. And when you get elevated and you get excited. She gets tighter, she can feel it, right? So, so recognizing that, being able to regulate it, bring it down a step, be the guy out in right field, right? Be the mom out in right field, and then reinforce Rhett Parker: Yes. Bill Hoopes: the things that she does well. Right. I'll give you one quick family example, real life example of a parent and a daughter that almost walked away from the sport because of the tension between the two of them and how we fixed it, right? I'm I'm watching this family, they're a client of mine in my leadure journey program. And I'm watching in the dad every single time the kid gets up to bat. Here we go, here we go, fix your hands, fix your feet, fix this, eye on the ball, do this, do that. And the kid's body language just is like, dude, can I just go do the thing that I worked on all week? Right? And it created this tension. And and the mom contacts me and says, Hey, can you work with these two? We we need to figure this out because you know we already have problems with our older daughter. We need to get this this whole communication thing figured out. And dad had a need to have a connection when the kid went up to bat, right? So we decided not to take that away. And now we just told the dad to stand up. and say hey baby girl I love you. That's it. Hey baby girl, I love you. He has to put the accountability on her for her eyes, her hands, her feet, allow Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: her to trust. She starts to believe in herself more. This kid's batting average went up two points. Her confidence level went up ten points. And now you can't not see them on Facebook in in pictures, enjoying these moments together. It went from, I don't want this guy around, to where is he at? Can he throw me a couple more pitches? Just with a simple understanding of what both people need. need in the relationship, you know. So Rhett Parker: And I and I do think having coached plenty of kids, man, there are kids that need that want to hear their parent, especially if they know what they're talking about, hey, checkpoints, scoot in, like you're good, let's go. Like, that's okay. But you you have to recognize what your own kid needs. You really do. And and I say that as a coach too, like, man, some people like, hey. Hey, you're too far away, scoot in. It doesn't mean you're giving them hitting instruction while they're trying to hit, but you can give them cues if it's the right thing for them. It's recognizing what each individual kid needs. We do, I will tell you, and you're at the tournaments, boy, it's a big problem. It doesn't matter what sport it is either. The, the, the, the recognition of what each individual kid needs is. is is being missed and and I partly think we don't certify coaches. We don't train. We don't train. It's it's it's pretty it's pretty wild. Like we don't we don't try to do anything to get better at at at coaching youth sports, right? Bill Hoopes: Yeah, I think I think there's outlets there, right? There's colleges that put on coaching clinics, there's online Rhett Parker: Okay. Bill Hoopes: resources. it's funny you mentioned that. I I'm actually in the process through Leader journey of building a coaching education course for softball from eight to eighteen U in different phases. but but I think the education's there, but I I agree, right? Anybody who wants to start a team, join an organization, buy team insurance and can, you know, successfully recruit players can go out Rhett Parker: Yep. Hmm? Bill Hoopes: there and coach literally with no experience. I'm proof of that. I'm Rhett Parker: Wild. Wild. Right. Bill Hoopes: proof of that. I I mean I should not be coaching a girls softball team or running a girls softball organization according to the game of softball. But because I have the experience, put myself in it, love the game as much as probably the people that I've coached playing it, I I think you have that opportunity to be able to then do those things if that makes sense, right? Rhett Parker: But it it's not all about being able to coach softball either. It's about being a leader for the kids. So it's not it's not just about Bill Hoopes: No, one hundred percent. Rhett Parker: training them, it's about being a leader, putting them in positions to be successful. And I think that the the hardest part is sometimes you have someone, man, you know, or maybe you have a girl who's hitting ninth, but when you move her to fifth. She doesn't do good. She feels pressure. So Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: is it better for her to hit ninth, even though she's probably better than a nine-hole hitter? Or is it, well, God, she should be hitting higher? It's okay for your kid to have success hitting ninth. Like it's it's gonna be fine. It's okay if they're the if they're the left fielder, and that's what they're really good at. I know you want them to be the shortstop or the cat, but Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: man, if they're having success in left field. That's okay. It it it is. And I think we we miss sometimes. And I learned this coaching because I never really coached youth, but I learned this coaching my my son's team. Sometimes the parents want X. Even the player wants X, but it's not, it's not what's best for them. It's best Bill Hoopes: Sure. Rhett Parker: for them to go be the guy or the guy or the girl out in right field or hit eighth. Because man, they smoke the ball when they hit eighth. God, man, he's doing great. Let's move him to fourth. And then it's like, my God, it's a different player, Jekyll and Hyde. And we want Bill Hoopes: I think Rhett Parker: them to have success. That's all I'm saying. Bill Hoopes: I I think that comes with emotional and and mental maturity too, right? I mean, you know, I I I would be the person that continued to train and find out the need behind the need, what changes when we move here, right? Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: How do you feel? Why is this happening? And continue to give them opportunity, maybe maybe not in the championship game, right? Set your championship line up. but I would still be the one as as a coach to to coach that person over time, figure out like you said, who they are, what they're needs are Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: what their motivational factors are, right? What their carrot is, if you will, right, and what gets them moving. And then continue to nurture and coach that to be able to put them in the best position. And if that doesn't ever click for them, well then that's my job as the leader to put the best people in the position on the team for their success, right? And and where you've when run into issues is the next person in the chain doesn't understand that. The kid gets it, the kid's good, and then I go to the next person in the chain of command, which is the parents And more than that, they have a hard time understanding that and then will go to the team that just puts the kid sixth and wonder why he struggles. Rhett Parker: Yeah. For sure. I I and yeah, the expectations is is something that is really difficult in these sports, I think, for players and parents and even coaches. you know, it doesn't define who you are, w whether your kid's successful or not, you know, and and I think we just need to keep hammering that home. And one of the things that I wanna ask you about, because you know, the the less the the The less is more at times. More is not always better. How much of that are you seeing where you're at in the softball world? More, more, more, more. Bill Hoopes: I mean look, I shut down in January and half of February. I shut down in August, right? I mean that that doesn't mean they can't go find other places to play. But I specifically don't run tournaments during those two and a half months because that's when summer is over. And if you're gonna keep going three hundred and sixty-five days a year, it's not gonna be in my league. You're gonna get some some rest, right? And and then in January and February, falls over, most kids are getting geared up for high school ball. so we give that time and then I come back in February with The younger kids, but I mean, look, we're in a world of social media, of consumption, of of explosion. So consuming is what people do naturally. That's just how we are as as human beings. So when when people do more, more more more I I think that's up to the team. I see a balance of that. I have some teams that literally are just playing two in June and two in July, and they're they're hitting the important parts of what they need to do. I think that. That is is really important for coaches to understand where their team's at as well. And then you see these elite teams and they never they're from Florida, but they never play in the state of Florida because they have to go chase the best events in the country seven weeks in a row. And then the kids come back and this is when I get them and they're burnt out and they're wore out and their parents just don't know why this is happening. Well, because the sleep cycle's been off, the food cycle's been off, the, you know, fun cycle's been off, the caring cycle's been off, and it's just been go, go, go. So Yeah, I I mean I I do see especially in Florida, I mean there's a different softball organization popping up every weekend, running a camp, running a clinic, doing an event, doing a tournament. so yeah, it's certainly more. My advice to that is is build a good schedule, focus a lot on practice, focus a lot on on mental performance. The one muscle we never exercise is the brain. We fix the hand, the feet, but we very rarely work on the relationship, right? How is that person feel? What is our intentionality when they step into the box? What are they actually thinking about? Right. So I think we can get more out of our players by actually doing less and focusing on the right things for sure. Rhett Parker: And don't don't be afraid to ask your player what they want. Don't be afraid to go up to her and go, Hey, how you feeling? Do you wanna do this, this, and this? And you know, and and in my opinion, break it down and go, once we commit, we're committed to doing this. So make sure it's what you want to do. And just having that, you know, open again, relationship with with your kid is so important because what you think they might want might not be what they want. And you want them to enjoy what they're doing. I Bill Hoopes: Every day. Rhett Parker: I I I I I just see so much of that in in the the the the world that we're in. And and again, you know, and you said it earlier and I it was pretty funny. But it it's sort of why we're joking about surviving use sports because, you know, I I have a significant sports background. played a lot of places. I've had so many jobs in sports and baseball. I I'm still figuring it out. I don't have the answers, which is why I love doing this with people like you and and other people because, you know, I sit I'll sit here after we're off the podcast and I'll be like, man, I try to write down some notes for myself. So selfishly, Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: you know, the podcast for me as a parent and talking to you and others, I mean, it's cheat code. You know, and and Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: it, but it doesn't mean that I agree with everything you're saying, or this person, or this person. But what I am trying to do, and I would say this for parents out there, I'm trying to get information from you because. You are a significant part of what you do for for for your area of youth sports. And then I take that information and I go, man, that was I agree with that. That's really smart. Or Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: maybe that's not for my oldest son, but maybe that's really good for my youngest son. That's all we're trying to do. We're we're not trying to, and I can even tell with you, you're not trying to sit there and be like, you have to do this. Because that's every kid is different. And Florida, I mean, I'm sitting there looking at you outside right now. You know, Florida, I'm in my I'm in my office nice, nice day in Washington State, but Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I I'm not outside. It's it's very different. And you'll Bill Hoopes: ninety seven here today. Rhett Parker: you'll you'll be inside about three o'clock, I'll tell you that. but Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I I I can appreciate and I think we all need to that there is no right or wrong answer. There's taking information and recognizing your kid and communicating with your kid. And then reinforcing what you think is right with your kid, kinda like you said. so so talk talk to me a little bit more about about lead your journey. What what what is what does that even I mean I I I kinda glean what it means, but you know, get down to some details on on on what lead your journey is about. Bill Hoopes: Sure, so twenty twenty one I stopped coaching softball. I kinda stepped away. I my Florida PGF really started doing very well right after COVID because Florida stayed open, so everybody decided to come to Florida in twenty twenty and twenty twenty one and twenty twenty two to play softball. Rhett Parker: Yes, yep, yep. Arizona Arizona, Florida, I know. Like Texas. Yeah. Bill Hoopes: That's that's it. Everybody came here. I mean literally my my tournament entries with out of state teams tripled, you know. And and Rhett Parker: Yeah. I bet it did. Bill Hoopes: and we probably, you know, now it's 2026, we've probably maintained about 25% of that. You know, people go back home and so our bigger events, we still get a lot of teams from out of state. But but as I'm not coaching anymore, now I'm really focused in on my tournaments. I'm watching what's going on. I'm introduced to more coaches. I'm I'm looking at it from another lens. I'm not just worried about my team and and and my games and what's going on this season. Now I'm worried about everybody's team and watching families and doing all this. So I really started to identify some gaps between what a lot of what we've been talking about today, between what the parent wants and what they think should happen and what the kid wants and what DNA allows to happen. And and as we mature and progress and see so many of the pictures of, you know, my my kid div committed to this school and then two years later they're transferring to a different level, different school and you know, all of these different things. I just really started to identify some gaps. So 2022 I started writing my book, Leading Her Game, which is a book for parents to help bridge the communication gap. How do I train, coach, raise, be a friend, a parent, a confident, an accountability partner to a thirteen to eighteen year old, high functioning, high academic female. I struggled with this for years. Military guy, left, right, left. Come on, ten-year-old girl, you need to get in line and march to first base. It just didn't Translate well, right? Could you imagine? So, Rhett Parker: Right. Yeah. Bill Hoopes: especially with my energy level, you know, like come on, kid, let's go. And so I wrote my book. I started writing a workbook for the kids. I was working on two different things, parenting, coaching. And then in 2023, I just put out there, hey, I'm looking for a team. And everybody thought I was recruiting another softball team. Bill's coming off the bench, but I wasn't. I was looking for kids and families who wanted to understand softball, who wanted to bridge that communication gap. That were perfectionists that were high anxiety, high-level kids that had great talent, average talent, some, you know, no talent at all, but wanted to get better. Rhett Parker: No. Bill Hoopes: And so I did, not really having a company or things together. I was looking for 10 families to kind of jump on board with me and let's figure this thing out together. and we did, and they did, and and eight out of those kids, ten kids plus forty more are still with me two and a half years later. So lead your journey. Is a mindset and performance and recruiting company where we work on five things three different ways with the athlete. Five things we work on. We work on their mind, right? How do they think? How do they feel? How do they handle the pressure in the box in the circle at home? The car ride home. How is their mind? Right? How's their body? How are we developing our skill? How are we developing our body? Our athleticism, our nutrition, you know, all of those things. How are their relationships? How do they interact with their coaches, their teammates, their parents, right? College coaches that they're speaking with. What is their public speaking and confidence ability as they're going out? What is their athletics and academics? Those two things go together, right? I have to have good grades. I have to be a good athlete and show up. And then the fifth one is faith. What is my walk with God? How am I leaning into God? Whoever your God is and whatever you believe. Those five things we work with the kids three different ways: intentional effort. Everything we do when we wake up, right, we do on purpose. Right? I'm making a decision every day. So as a kid, I I need to wake up every day. Here's my plan of accountability. My my families talk on Sundays. They build their plan for the week. So the parents don't have to go, I told you I spent all this money. This is what we're doing. Blah blah blah. They get to know, hey, this week, this is our Monday. This is our Tuesday. This is our Wednesday, right? So we've built a platform where I do one-on-one and group coaching the first and third Monday of every month. I teach from my workbook to 30, 40, 50 kids online, depending upon On who's available that week. And we teach those lessons about mindset, performance, recruiting. the third week of every month is entrepreneurship and business, right? Because the game ends. So I teach them about taxes and workflow and building a business and and how to get Rhett Parker: Awesome. Bill Hoopes: a license and insurance, all while how do I handle the car ride home? How do I handle the big moment? What happens after failure happens? How do I respond? Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: What are college coaches looking for? So we put all this in a in a in a workbook, in a book, and and it's an online thing. And it's a platform and we've got an app. And, you know, we're rewriting everything now for the three-year anniversary and relaunching all our new programs in September. Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: I'm making it much more affordable. $35 a month will be, you know, kind of the subscription to help everybody in the world, right? Because that's what I've heard. I got a batting coach. I got a hitting coach. I got all these different things. No one, everybody puts the mind in relationships last. You know, so Rhett Parker: Right. Bill Hoopes: that's lead your journey. It's it is a mindset performance recruiting. Family relationship company, if you wanted to put a title on it, where we work with kids and teams on building relationships, maintaining relationships, feeling good in the box, and the steps I need in order to get recruited. The real steps. What do I really need to do and what really matters and what's important? So that's Rhett Parker: I mean, right now you probably need to write a book every other every other year with that. I mean, golly, Bill Hoopes: I know. I know. Rhett Parker: man. I I d someone, you know, asked me the other day, what what should we do? I go, the one thing I can promise you at softball, baseball, and you you know this, Bill, get in the weight room. Like that's the one thing I could promise across Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: all sports. Physicality will play no matter what. But that I I think what you're doing is is is great. And you know, again, you know, what I would say is is different parts of the country, different different cultures, different things. You know, stuff like this you you take and and this might work great, or part of this might work great, and part of this might not work as great for whatever reason. And I I I appreciate you saying that. It's not it is not a black and white. Deal. It is we're trying to help you be successful, put you in positions to be successful, both on the field and off the field. And God, it's it's it's just so hard. It's just so hard. And and and you know this, obviously lead the journey. Man, for parents, it's hard to watch a kid fail sometimes, man. Like it's freaking hard. but they're gonna be okay. They're gonna be okay. It's gonna be all right. The sun's gonna Bill Hoopes: Yeah, here's Rhett Parker: somebody says something, sun's gonna come up tomorrow, man. Like yeah. So Bill Hoopes: Right. I mean, here's why parents get upset on the weekends, right? Two things. They either didn't see their kid work and they feel like they're wasting their time, right? Or they saw their kid work so hard and not get the results they wanted that empathy just goes over and and they have a hard time because they f they they are the only person that sees their kid cry throughout the week, struggle throughout the week, talk down about themselves throughout the week, and go through all the things. So when you're the dads, you know, I can I can't speak for the moms, but as the dad sitting outside The fence. I was always one of two things. I was either frustrated because her little behind didn't put the work in over the last couple of weeks. So what am I doing here? And that's the part I've learned how to correct because you got to re-motivate, re-engage. Last week they didn't even know how to clean their room, and you expect them to know everything at 15. It's just not feasible. Right? And then the other thing is is, you know, when you see them work so hard, your heart breaks that they don't get what they want in the moment. And as parents, we then have two choices: put them in the car, tell them. Rhett Parker: Well, I'm gonna add a third choice. You just you just be silent too. That that that wor that works sometimes. Bill Hoopes: You could. Yeah. Rhett Parker: I I I I would say that you know, we we sort of had a a crushing all star probably an upset and Didn't want talk about it. But Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I get it. Trying to process it and your little league career's over and it's hard. I mean, it's it's not it's not it's not easy. It it never is. And and even even guys that play at the highest level, like, they're going through it too. I mean, it's it's it's it's hard. But so what do we w kind of a two-parter here. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna let I'm gonna let you cook a little bit. Bill Hoopes: Okay. Rhett Parker: What are what are we getting wrong? Okay, in Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: youth sports and and people listening to this episode, you know, as we wrap it up, what is what do you want them to take away from your perspective, as it pertains to eSports as well? Bill Hoopes: So, what are we getting wrong? I'm gonna hit you with two things. One kind of expected, one unexpected, right? Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: what are we getting wrong? I think we provide too much false pressure on our kids with unrealistic expectation from what everyone else around you is doing, right? Your your kid is not the next person's kid. That's not their DNA, it's not their training schedule, it's not their whatever, right? So, so understanding you said it, understanding your child, how they develop and helping. Them lead your journey, right? The other thing that we're getting wrong, and and this is another area that I'm really going to start focusing on. I brought on Jojo Mulholland as a national player development girl, woman, player focused individual. She's going to be really starting to work with a lot of the girls, and and I'm going to start working a lot with the parents. And and Red, I've seen an epidemic as a tournament director of dads who show up in tenure and and they're fit guys, and they're 27 years old. years old and they're ready to go and and they're really enjoying the moment. And then I watch these men over the last eight years and they've gained fifty pounds and they've got heart disease and and and they've been sitting on a bucket for eight years eating concession food and and throwing their life into their children. And now Rhett Parker: Mm. Bill Hoopes: their kids have gone on to college. They've lost every motivational thing they have because their kids are gone and now they've spent the last eight years helping their kids chase their dreams, which is what we're supposed to do, but at the same time I see too many parents losing themselves in this process and and and then when it's over, they're now out of shape, don't have good relationship with their kids, things aren't really going well for them. Rhett Parker: Nothing to do. Bill Hoopes: And it's a hu and they right, it's a huge struggle. So that's the next venture for me, is really helping parents understand their journey through this process. That we don't just want to drop our kid off and practice, go to Starbucks, get a latte, sit in the parking lot of the practice, drink our latte, eat our cheeseburger, and then have the daughter get in the car and tell them why they didn't work hard enough. Right? We want those parents to be up and engaged and kind of making sure that they're eating the right way, stress de stressing themselves the right Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bill Hoopes: way and taking care of themselves. So I think I think that's a a major part of what we get wrong. People don't take care of themselves through this whole process. and where are we going? Yeah. Yeah. Rhett Parker: It's scary, bro. It's scary because I I I think we've had a game every day of some one of my kids for like eight days. And I keep saying that on these things. And I like, man, and I and and and I was talking to my wife the other day, because we have a little bit of a of a breather starting next week of no games for a couple weeks. And and I go, man, like I I wanna make sure that we our our hobbies Or things that we enjoy doing, we have to focus on that for ourselves. Because one day, and they and and honestly, my kids could play for 20 more years, but they'll they will be done one day. Father time is undefeated. Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: What what do we like to do? You know, and we I it's just, it's just every now and again, I tell, and she does too, we take a step back and go, we're at a field every night, we're running everyone around, and we love it. It's brutal sometimes, but we love it. But what are we doing for us? Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: And it's okay to throw yourself into your kids' stuff. That's great. That's what parents do. Bill Hoopes: One hundred percent. Yep. Rhett Parker: But you have to have your self-identity not be tied into that, dude. And I'm telling you, man, going through it now, because I got 12, 12, 9, and 7. It is, almost dropped an F-bomb there. It is Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: freaking hard. Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: It is one of the hardest things for me. And I love this is why I do this, right? Because I'm listening to you talk. I'm like, shit, Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: I I'm aware. Like, it's Bill Hoopes: Yeah. Rhett Parker: fine, it's hard, man. And it hurts sometimes, bro. Yep. Bill Hoopes: Yeah, you're right in the middle of it. You're right in the middle of it. And if it continues and you don't necessarily do some intentional things to take care of yourself, even you, ten years from now, can have put on all that excess weight, all that excess pressure. So, you know, we haven't talked about it much, but that's where my sixty for me program comes in for men. Right? Sixty for sixty minutes a day to focus on those five pillars we talked about for Rhett Parker: Women too though. I mean it it be I I can tell you it's it it's women too. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Bill Hoopes: No, no, women too. I again I I don't s I you know, it's funny, like I I work with teenage girls and I work with dads and and it's moms kinda you know, it's Rhett Parker: Yeah. Bill Hoopes: I I don't miss them skip them by. but it's hard for me to speak to a a mother Rhett Parker: Right. Yeah. Bill Hoopes: or a wife and say this is what you should be, you know, doing. I can give you the general premise, but a a feeling Rhett Parker: Right, right, right. Yeah. Bill Hoopes: for myself is Rhett Parker: Mm-hmm. Bill Hoopes: Anyways, but yes, women too. I see mom coaches and moms all go through the same process, right? It's an epidemic of wanting to give our kids more, by sacrificing less for yourself, which is what parents are supposed to do. I'm not saying they're not, but we still have to be intentional about our own self. It happened to me. I mean, from two thousand fifteen to two thousand twenty, I went from a hundred and sixty-five pounds to two hundred and twenty pounds. I mean, I blew up, bro. Two that that whole grind running those teams, starting my Tournament company, getting out of the Navy, doing all this stuff. 220 pounds in February of 2020, right before COVID. You know, I figured it out. COVID shut me down. I got myself back in a military mindset and went and got myself fit again. But through all this process, this has kind of become my passion and my life's work. Helping kids Rhett Parker: Love it. Bill Hoopes: understand the box, helping families understand the relationship. and now I'm focusing, you know, parents, but specifically men, you know, and coaching and and going through this whole Process and now trying to get yourself back to where you can be there for your grandkids and you can be there enjoying your 50s, 60s, and 70s. So I think the second part of your question is where are we going? Rhett Parker: I'm with you. Yeah. Bill Hoopes: I I for me, I continue to push Florida PGF to be you know a respected organization that not only runs tournaments but provides education. I mean, we put things out to our event on our events, we have seminars on our events, we we educate through our social media. And our emails, and you know, really just making sure that people aren't just playing a tournament with us, but they understand where they're at in the process, how, you know, they can get better moving forward. We want people to come to Florida PGF and know that it's not just a tournament event company. It's somebody who wants to grow with your family, educate you on the process, and we're here for all of it. lead your journey. We're getting a lot more automated. you know, I did find a gap at 15. They kind of want less in your face and more automated. automated stuff where they can just kinda pull it up from the hotel or do that. So go ahead Rhett Parker: Where can we find you on social media online for for lead your journey? Bill Hoopes: Sure. So any of the social medias is just sixty for me, six zero F O R E. That's Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, all that stuff. my website is leadyourjourney dot com. Just leadyourjourney dot com. it's being redone. It's still up, it's still active, but all of our programs are being rewritten. We're relaunching again in the middle of August. So I would say anybody who hears this before that, just give me a call, seven four eight seven five six six three. You can just call me directly and Rhett Parker: Look at that. Bill Hoopes: talk to people all over the country. So yeah. Rhett Parker: Look at that. That's awesome. That's awesome. I I it hit me as a parent, man. I I I I love what you're doing and and yeah, man, I really appreciate you coming on and and no, this was again, I I'm I'm feeling it, man. I what you're starting talking about parents, man, 'cause it's a grind. And, you know, it's hard. It it's freaking hard. Especially you got a lot I'm I'm gonna take anything away from the singleton parents, but man, we got You you got two, three, four kids, man. Buddy, it it is one thing to the next to the next to the next. And but I love what you're doing, man. Lead your journey is great. and I really appreciate you coming on the show, brother. Bill Hoopes: No, I appreciate it as well. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being a voice for, you know, kids and parents all over the country. So I appreciate your time as well. Sir. I'm a survivor. Yes, Rhett Parker: Yeah, surviving. Surviving. Yeah. That's that's awesome. All right, brother. Thanks again, man. Bill Hoopes: sir. Thank you.